Edward's View
by I'monteamedward
Summary: What is Edward doing when he's away from Bella in New Moon? Edward's perspective in New Moon. Hope you like it. Please review!
1. Happy Birthday

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. I am not Stephenie Meyer. The Twilight series is owned by Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended.

Author's note: Obviously, there is a lot of dialogue from _New Moon_. I'm not saying that it's mine, it belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Only what Edward is thinking is mine.

Happy Birthday

Alice and I were standing by the Volvo, waiting for Bella. _My _Bella. I still couldn't believe she was mine. I'd waited over 100 years for her. I could wait another five minutes for her to get to the high school. But it was awfully difficult.

_Edward._ Alice thought. _Edward. Can I give Bella her presents? Please?_

I chuckled under my breath. Bella and expensive gifts did not mix.

"You can try but I think you better ask her."

Alice pouted. She _loved _Bella. Bella was her long lost sister in many ways. Then I heard the familiar roar of her Chevy. It grated against my ear drums. Alice and I gritted our teeth in annoyance.

_When are you going to get her a new car? I can't stand it anymore!_

The trunk lumbered slowly into the student parking lot. I tapped my foot in anticipation. The spots on either side of the Volvo were empty. The other humans avoided us as much as possible. Bella slammed the door harder than necessary, obviously expecting Alice's ambush. I grinned as soon as Bella, my Bella, came into view. I wanted so badly to touch her. So badly to be human so I could touch without inflicting pain. I shied away from the image of Bella, broken, bleeding, because I lost control. Because I was a human killing machine. I sighed quietly as I remembered why I would have to leave. Alice, so preoccupied with the excitement of Bella's birthday didn't notice and immediately said, "Happy birthday, Bella!"

Bella quickly shushed her. Nobody knew it was her birthday and she didn't want anyone to find out. While Bella and Alice talked about presents, I looked at Bella. Well, stared in awe is a better phrase. She looked perfect, as usual. Maybe a little stressed about her birthday, judging from the worry lines on her forehead, but still my beautiful, blushing Bella.

"I take it I'm not allowed to wish you a happy birthday, correct?" I asked. Doesn't hurt to make sure.

"That is correct." Just hearing her talk to me (me!) sent me flying. I stared deep into the molten pools of warm chocolate just savoring the feeling of being able to look at her. Then the burn in my throat started and I turned away, sighing so low she couldn't hear.

Alice and I worked out the times for the party, ignoring Bella's outraged protests. We walked to class, taking our time. I disregarded Mike's vile thoughts while he smiled at Bella. She smiled sweetly, not knowing what effect it had on Mike. His heart leaped thinking that Bella was finally getting tired of me and ready to move on to "bigger and better things". I bit back a hiss and distracted myself by mentally criticizing his ridiculous hair style. Did my hair look that greasy? I ran a hand through it self consciously.

The day passed uneventfully. I mostly stared at Bella, talked to Bella, listened to thoughts about Bella, and looked at Bella through the eyes of others if I didn't have a class with her. Ah, Bella.

She drove home. I made sure she had no chance to escape Alice's over-the-top birthday plans. I tried to point out the bad things about her stereo so that she would possibly be more receptive of the new one my family was getting her. Yeah, no chance of that. She parked in front of Charlie's house and I took her face in my cold hands, wishing I had warm skin that wouldn't raise goosebumps when I touched her. I leaned down slowly, making sure I was in complete control. She sighed as our lips met and carefully wrapped her arms around my neck, probably hoping I wouldn't notice. I resisted the urge to laugh as I slowly unwrapped her arms.

"Be good, please," I said as I quickly kissed her lips again. Her heart thudded unevenly. I thought about the blood pulsing faster than normal, her freesia scent coming off her in waves, the delicious scent pulling me in closer… closer… closer. _No! Stop!_ I commanded myself. I opened my eyes and realized I had only moved about half an inch closer to her neck, a distance Bella didn't notice at all.

"Do you think I'll ever get used to that?" She murmured, referring to her pounding heart.

"I really hope not," I stated, though I almost wished she would so there wouldn't be extra temptation to kill her whenever I touched her for longer than a half second. But no thudding pulse meant Bella wasn't alive and that thought was the worst thought imaginable. A world without Bella… I contemplated it. A world without Bella was like at world without love, without happiness. A starless night, an empty heart, a soul with no purpose. At least I knew what my purpose was. My purpose was to make Bella happy, no matter what the cost. But I had no soul and I would not doom Bella to the same fate. Never would her heart stop beating even if her body was alive. Never would Bella be a damned creature of the night. Never would she be afraid to go out into the sun. I wouldn't allow it. Bella would and could not become a vampire.

That was chapter one. You can say anything you want, I love reviews!


	2. Romeo and Juliet

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. I am not Stephenie Meyer. The Twilight series is owned by Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended.

Author's note: Obviously, there is a lot of dialogue from _New Moon_. I'm not saying that it's mine, it belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Only what Edward is thinking is mine.

Romeo and Juliet

We walked into her small home and I braced myself for the onslaught of Bella's scent waiting for me. _Everything_ smelled like her in this house. Bella bustled around getting _Romeo and Juliet_ ready. I pulled her onto my lap and covered her with a blanket. Hopefully, she wouldn't freeze to death.

"You know, I've never had much patience with Romeo," I said. He was an arrogant fool who only thought of himself.

"What's wrong with Romeo?" She asked, sounding offended. But why? I gritted my teeth in frustration. If only I knew what she was thinking…

"Well first of all, he's in love with this Rosaline," I began. Ugh. Rosaline sounded like Rosalie and how Emmett of all people, or vampires, could fall in love with _her _was beyond me. "Don't you think it makes him seem a little fickle? And then, a few minutes after their wedding, he kills Juliet's cousin. That's not very brilliant. Mistake after mistake. Could he have destroyed his own happiness any more thoroughly?" Throughout my little rant, Bella seemed to be getting more and more exasperated with my point of view.

She sighed, gesturing at the television, "Do you want me to watch this alone?"

"No, I'll mostly be watching you, anyway." I traced tiny hearts on her skin, raising goose bumps. "Will you cry?" I was curious. Did this pathetic excuse for a movie really move her to tears?

"Probably," she said slowly, "If I'm paying attention."

"I guess I won't distract you then," I murmured, kissing the top of her head and inhaling the strawberry scent. When Juliet awoke, Bella did cry, which amused me greatly. So emotionally unstable.

"I'll admit, I do sort of envy him here," I whispered, drying her tears.

"She's very pretty," she said a little jealously.

Juliet? Pretty? Not compared to the radiance sitting right beside me. "I don't envy him for the _girl_ – just the ease of suicide. You humans have it so easy. All you have to do is throw down one tiny vial of plant extracts…" I trailed off, looking at her horrified expression.

"What?" she managed to gasp out. What a curious reaction. I was expecting a nod of agreement, maybe a chuckle of some sorts.

I tried to explain further. "It's something I had to think about once, and I knew from Carlisle's experience that it wouldn't be simple." I continued explaining although I could see she was still stuck on the "something I had to think about once" part of my explanation. I could see the question in her eyes before she even began to speak.

"What," she said hoarsely, "are you talking about? What do you mean, this something you had to think about once?"

"Last spring, when you were nearly killed," I stopped, struggling to contain the rage that wanted to explode within me. _James_. The James that I had ripped to shreds and thrown into a fire. He nearly killed the center of my entire universe. I took a deep, soothing breath, which was a mistake with Bella sitting on my lap, and continued, "Of course I was trying to focus on finding you alive, but part of my mind was making contingency plans. Like I said, it's not as easy for me as it is for a human." Bella unthinkingly began to stroke the horrible scar on her otherwise flawless, creamy skin.

She shook her head, as if clearing her mind, and asked me, "Contingency plans?"

"Well, I wasn't going to live without you," I told her, stating the obvious. "But I wasn't sure how to do it. I knew Emmett and Jasper would never help… so I was thinking of going to the Volturi."

With barely contained fury in her voice, she shrieked, "What is a _Volturi?_"

"The Volturi are a family," I explained, thinking of the magnificent, old family, "A very old powerful family of out kind. They are the closest thing out world has to a royal family, I suppose. Do you remember Carlisle's story?"

"Of course I remember."

"Anyway, you don't irritate the Volturi. Not unless you want to die, or whatever it is we do."

She looked shocked. And horrified. And angry. And upset. She took my face in her hands and held on as hard as she could, though I could easily break her hold. "You must never, never, _never_ think of anything like that again! No matter what might happen to me, you are not allowed to hurt yourself!" She looked like she was going to cry again.

"I'll never put you in danger again, so it's a moot point."

She was getting angrier and angrier with my calm responses. "Put me in danger? I thought we'd established that all the bad luck is my fault!" And somehow, more hysterical. "How dare you even think like that?" She sounded like the dim, human memories of my mother.

"What would you do, if the situation was reversed?" I shot back.

"That's not the same thing," she told me, rolling her eyes.

I laughed.

"What if something did happen to you?" Her beautiful eyes filled with unshed tears. Then she turned sarcastic. "Would you want me to go… go _off _myself?"

A stab of pain close to my heart. Bella killing herself? Because I died, or went to hell as I believed?

"I guess I see your point… a little," I admitted slowly. "But what would I do without you?" What indeed? I would just curl up in a ball and, if I was lucky, starve myself to death.

"Whatever you were doing before I came along and complicated your existence." She said. She made it sound too easy. If not for my vampire memory, I probably wouldn't have remembered what I was doing before I met Bella.

"You make it sound so easy."

"It should be. I'm not really that interesting." Not interesting? Bella? Those three words couldn't be used in the same sentence. She never saw herself clearly.

"Moot point," I reminded her. Suddenly, I heard the distant sound of Charlie's police cruiser. I took Bella off my lap.

"Charlie?" She guessed, immediately understanding. She reached out and took my hand. I smiled.

"Do you mind if I borrow Bella for the evening?" I asked Charlie, after he offered us pizza. The disgusting scent was almost as overpowering as Bella's freesia. Bella looked at Charlie with a ghost of hope in her eyes. Did she honestly think that's all it would take to stop me? Either way, there was a game on tonight and Charlie was eager to watch. We drove off to the party where I was sure Alice had been ready for hours. The party started normally enough, or as normal as vampires could be. Alice had, of course, decorated the house with crystal bowls filled with roses. The overall effect was really lovely. Emmett installed Bella's stereo so she couldn't return it. Then, as she started to open the wrapping with my gift in it, she got a cut. A cut. A cut that changed the next six months of my eternity.

"Shoot," she mumbled under her breath.

But I wasn't paying attention to her, for the first time since I had met her. I was listening to the suddenly very loud thoughts of my family.

_Crap! Why now? _Emmett lamented while holding his breath.

_Typical Bella! She always ruins everything!_ _Not that there was anything to ruin… _Rosalie silently fumed in her head.

_Poor Bella. I hope it doesn't hurt too much…_ Esme was wondering.

_Oh, my. This is going to be very, very bad._ Luckily, Carlisle was as calm as usual.

Only Alice wasn't thinking of Bella. I saw a horrible image flicker in her mind. _EDWARD, stop him! Now! Now! GO!_

I almost froze when I heard what Jasper was thinking. His mind was completely blank. His entire being was focused on the tiny drop of blood trickling down Bella's finger.

"NO!" I yelled throwing myself at Bella in one long bound. She didn't even scream. She landed on the shattered crystal plates, the blood pouring out of the hideous gash in her arm. I couldn't think of it. Not now. Bella needed me. I immediately crashed into Jasper and quickly locked his arms behind his back. He was acting like an animal, acting exactly as I had tried not to for almost 90 years. And as I threw Jasper to Emmett, I saw a vision in Alice's mind. It involved indescribable pain for everyone involved. I was leaving, I was sure of it this time. I would never hurt Bella again.

Review, review, review… please!


	3. Guilt

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. I am not Stephenie Meyer. The Twilight series is owned by Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended.

Author's note: Obviously, there is a lot of dialogue from _New Moon_. I'm not saying that it's mine, it belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Only what Edward is thinking is mine.

Guilt

Emmett and Rosalie wrestled Jasper outside. Reason was beginning to come to him.

_Oh my God… what's going on? Where's Bella? Did I kill her? Edward's going to be so mad. Oh… he's probably listening. I'm so sorry, Edward. I knew this would happen someday. Is Bella okay? Oh, no what have I done…?_

He was looking through the window at my horrified, furious face. I quickly rearranged my expression so it was one of forgiveness. I couldn't leave with him feeling guilty. I nodded to him and he immediately relaxed in Emmett stone grasp. Then he took off running. Emmett thought he was going for Bella again.

"Emmett," I stated quietly. He turned to face me, thinking I didn't know what was going on. I shook my head, "He's fine, just guilty." He nodded and sat on the front porch with Rosalie, taking as few breaths as possible because of the scent wafting out the front door.

I took a deep breath through my mouth and turned to face Bella. She would be angry at Jasper, I was sure of it. But as I looked at her face the only thing written on it was guilt. _She _felt guilty? How was that humanly possible? Carlisle began prepping her arm for stitching. I wasn't breathing.

"Just go, Edward," she told me. She didn't want to make me unnecessarily uncomfortable. But I was fine not breathing as long as I knew she was okay.

She looked like she was going to argue so I quickly said, "I can handle it." She ordered me to get some fresh air. Carlisle told me to go find Jasper. I narrowed my eyes. They thought I couldn't handle the idea of blood gushing…. I shook my head and left. I couldn't think of anything else with that image in my head.

I followed Jasper's scent to the middle of the forest, where he was sitting on a boulder with his head in his hands, murmuring something so fast even a vampire couldn't hear him. I jumped into a tree that was about eye level with the gigantic rock.

"So," I said awkwardly.

"So."

The silence was getting very uncomfortable.

"How's life, Jasper?" I said, knowing it would amuse him.

He cracked a smile, then quickly lapsed back into his depression.

"Nobody blames you. You know that, right?"

"But I blame myself. If only I were stronger, if only I could have more restraint, if only-." I cut him off.

"I said nobody blames you. And nobody should. Not even yourself."

"But-" he started.

"But nothing. We all would have done the same thing if we were you, even Carlisle," I comforted him. "It took us all years, _years_, to perfect what we can do. And it's not without a struggle. It's hard, but you'll get better. I know it."

"But," he emphasized, daring me to interrupt him again. "But, what if I don't?"

"Then you don't and we'll all go live with Tanya," I repressed a shudder at the thought of Tanya. Tanya here, Tanya there, Tanya everywhere. And then me, always having to avoid her leading questions. Ugh. I was almost glad to be leaving.

"I don't like moose," he said grumpily. But I could tell he was feeling better.

"Too bad, Jasper," I taunted him.

"Thanks, Edward," he said sarcastically. Then he turned serious. "I think… I think I'm going to stay out here for a bit. Let me know when… it's safe."

"No problem."

I hoped he would feel better eventually. I sped back to the house, where Emmett and Rosalie were still talking. I heard Carlisle telling Bella the end of a story. My story. He offered to take her home.

"I'll do that," I offered her. She was reading my face carefully. I tried to keep my face as expressionless as possible. Maybe she wouldn't figure out the truth that way. Her eyes narrowed as she tried and failed to figure out what I was hiding. I hoped she wouldn't guess until I told her I was leaving. She changed into a shirt of Esme's that was similar to the color of her own.

"Take your things!" Alice reminded her, shoving the presents into Bella's arm.

We climbed into the car silently. I drove down the driveway, thinking of ways to break Bella's heart.

_Dearest Bella,_

_I love you very much but I have to leave. I'm writing this in a letter so…_

No. Absolutely not. I couldn't leave her in a letter. I would have to watch as my words sank in. Watch her eyes as they filled with tears. But she probably wouldn't believe me. I would have to lie for hours possibly days to make sure she got the message that I no longer loved her. Maybe she wouldn't believe at all. Once I gave up, what would I say? April Fool's? No. It was stay or leave and I had to leave. But I loved her terribly. Every molecule of my being loved her. It would be torture to rip myself away from her for even a month. A month. I winced at the thought. And I would have to stay away for hundreds of years. Maybe I could check on her every once in a while.

"Say something," she pleaded.

"What do you want me to say?" I asked still preoccupied with my evil plans. I sounded like a villain. But I was leaving for her, not for me. Was that evil? I wanted to say yes, but my better half told me I had to leave. I had to give her a chance with a human, not a vampire. Bella would marry someone human and normal and not… a vampire. I sighed.

"Tell me you forgive me."

What was she saying? I was lost. And angry. How did she possibly come to the conclusion that this was her fault? "Forgive _you?_ For what?"

"If I had been more careful, nothing would have happened."

I wanted to punch something. Then beat it into dust. How lucky I am that I can actually do that…. She was so giving, so loving, so ready to take the blame for things that _were not her fault!_

"Bella, you gave yourself a paper cut. That hardly deserves the death penalty."

"It's still my fault," she said stubbornly.

I had to get through to her somehow.

"Your fault? If you'd cut yourself at Mike Newton's house, with Jessica there and Angela and your other normal friends, the worst that could have possibly happened would be what? Maybe they couldn't find you a bandage? If you'd tripped and knocked over a pile of glass plates on your own-without someone throwing you into them- even then, what's the worst? You'd get blood on the seats when they drove you to the emergency room? Mike Newton could have held your hand while they stitched you up- and he wouldn't be fighting the urge to kill you the whole time he was there. Don't try and take any of this on yourself, Bella. It will only make me more disgusted with myself. "

"How the hell did Mike Newton end up in this conversation?"

"Mike Newton ended up in this conversation because Mike Newton would have been a hell of a lot healthier for you to be with," I was so angry at myself but trying to be calm and rational at the same time.

"I'd rather die than be with Mike Newton. I'd rather die than be with anyone but you," she said dramatically. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes but was at the same time praising God that she was still picking me over anyone else even though I was leaving.

"Don't be melodramatic, please," I snorted.

"Well then, don't you be ridiculous," she said angrily.

After we arrived at her house, she asked me to stay. I wanted to go home to explain to my family what I was doing. We needed to work things out. She finally convinced me by saying it was her birthday. I took the presents up to her room and left them on her bedside table. I finally sat in the middle of the bed, plotting of ways to leave. But my mind kept wandering back to the image of Bella lying on the floor with her mouth open in shock. I couldn't think straight. When she opened the door, my greeting was sadder than I meant it to be. The rest of the night was a blur. I couldn't concentrate on any one thing. Until she wanted to kiss me. Which was fine, if not a welcome distraction. But I realized if I wanted to say goodbye I would have to do it cleanly. This was our last kiss. I would have cried if I could. Somewhere in the middle my lips turned desperate and of course Bella was completely ready to overstep my boundaries. But, at the moment, I really didn't care. I quickly pushed her away before things got too far. She kept staring at me, knowing that something was wrong, that something was off. I stared back as a caught my breath and said "Sorry, that was out of line."

"I don't mind," she said breathlessly.

I grimaced. She was so willing to risk her life every time she wanted a kiss. Yet another reason why she needed someone human. "Try to sleep, Bella." Yes, _please_ try to sleep. I needed to think.

"No, I want you to kiss me again." She was as stubborn as ever.

"You're overestimating my self-control."

"Which is tempting you more, my blood or my body?" she asked flirtatiously.

"It's a tie." I smiled quickly. "Now, why don't you stop pushing your luck and go to sleep?"

"Fine." She pretended to cuddle closer but I knew she was putting her hurt arm against my arm. I grinned in the dark room. This was my last night where I could be myself. Now, I had to pretend that I wasn't interested anymore. It was impossibly painful for me but I knew I had to do it to save her. She would get over me… eventually.

Poor Edward. He always tries to do the right thing. If you're reading this, you should do the right thing and review!


	4. The Meeting

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. I am not Stephenie Meyer. The Twilight series is owned by Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended.

Author's note: Obviously, there is a lot of dialogue from _New Moon_. I'm not saying that it's mine, it belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Only what Edward is thinking is mine.

The Meeting

When Bella woke up in the morning, she looked horrible. Her hair was everywhere, she was clutching at her arm, and she was complaining of a headache. I felt guilty but I kept my face expressionless as I kissed her forehead and jumped out the window. In less than three minutes I was surrounded by my extremely irritated family. Well, only Rosalie was irritated and her thoughts were so loud and obnoxious that they were louder than everyone else's.

"Alice told us what you have decided, Edward," Carlisle began.

"So you know then? That I'm leaving?"

"Yes, obviously, Edward," Rosalie interjected. "But if you leave, we all leave."

"You don't have to do that for me," I stated calmly.

"_Obviously_," Rosalie sneered. "But it's not like we have a choice. Everyone will talk if only you leave with no explanation."

"Rose," Alice said quietly. "He's not coming with us."

"What? Of course he's coming with us."

"No, I'm not!" I said angrily. I didn't want them to see me when I curled into a ball and died.

"Stop that, Edward!" Alice snapped at me, seeing my decision. "You are not starving yourself. It is out of the question and as you know from Carlisle's experience, it doesn't work."

"I bet it would work if I waited long enough," I mumbled.

Rosalie rolled her eyes and said, "Then where are you going?"

"I don't know. Maybe I'll track Victoria."

Esme's face drained of what little color it had. "No," she whispered.

"That's awesome! Can I come?" Emmett of course.

"No!" everyone shouted.

"No," I said firmly. "I'm going alone and that's that."

"Edward," Jasper said in a low voice. "I know what you're feeling, but leaving is not necessary. You know what it will do to Bella-"

"Yes, I know _exactly _what it will do to Bella," I interrupted him. "She'll cry for a month then get over me like any other lovesick teenager. Then she'll get married and-" I broke off. I couldn't speak anymore. The pain was just too much. Was it so much to ask that _I_ be the one that she gets married to? The one that she has children with?

"No, she won't. You'll break her heart. Permanently. I know how she feels about you more than anyone else does, including you. Every time you walk into the same room as her, she just gets… I don't know… _happy_. Like all her troubles are gone."

"But she'll feel that way about someone else, someone _human_ when I leave," I contradicted him, even though I burned for some excuse to stay by her side.

"No. You're wrong, Edward. Leaving her is a huge mistake. And never coming back? Have you thought about that at all? Her feelings might change, though I doubt it, but yours never, ever will. And you'll just be alone for hundreds of years," Jasper was trying futilely to convince me.

"So be it."

He raised his eyebrows. _Really? That simple? I doubt it. What are you planning, Edward?_

"Nothing I'm going to tell you," I murmured so only he could hear.

"Jazz, it's no use. His mind is set," Alice sighed. I wasn't the only one losing someone here. Alice was losing her best friend. "Edward. You're going to act all distracted and moody for a few days then take her to the woods outside her house and… and _tell her_ there." She looked like she would cry.

"What do we do, Alice?" Rosalie sighed. She hated moving.

"Clear everything out. Take all the cars and every little thing possible. We don't want Bella wandering around and finding something. We're…" She checked her vision. "Not going to sell the house. Carlisle, when you talk to everyone at the hospital tell them we're going on a _long _trip but we might return someday."

"We're, or at least, I'm not returning," I said morosely.

"Whatever, we'll come back when everyone's _dead_!" Rosalie cried down the stairs. I growled under my breath. She was rubbing it in that Bella would… die someday. The thought was so impossibly painful. Why did I even care? It's not like I would ever see her again. It would be like she died anyway. Why did I care? Oh right, because I was completely in love with her.

What is Edward planning? Read (and review!) to find out…


	5. Goodbye

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. I am not Stephenie Meyer. The Twilight series is owned by Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended.

Author's note: Obviously, there is a lot of dialogue from _New Moon_. I'm not saying that it's mine, it belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Only what Edward is thinking is mine.

Goodbye

When I saw Bella at school, I resisted the urge to seem like I was in any way looking forward to her company. I suppose it worked because she was jumpy and thoughtful for the rest of the day. Then, at lunch, when she didn't see Alice, she asked where she was. I had forgotten to get an excuse for why she would be gone. As far as the school secretaries knew, Alice was in a boarding school for the "erratic behavior" she had been showing at home. But Bella would immediately know that it was a complete lie. I began to mash a granola bar between my fingers anxiously.

"She's… with Jasper," I answered slowly. This was an acceptable excuse. Jasper felt incredibly guilty and disgraced, which was true, so he went away for a while.

"Is he okay?"

"He's…gone away for a while."

"What? Where?" She was making this horribly difficult. So I gave her the first answer that came to mind.

"Nowhere in particular," I said with a shrug. Technically, my statement was true. He was going nowhere. For now.

"And Alice, too." She believed me. Of course she believed me. I would never lie to her.

"Yes," I said lifelessly. "She'll be gone for a while. She was trying to convince him to go to Denali." I hated, _hated_ lying to her. And she trusted me so much. She looked at me with nothing but concern for my brother in her chocolate eyes. There was no suspicion or disbelief in her eyes. Why did it have to be like this? Why couldn't I just be human? It would make things so much simpler. I wanted to hold her hand, but I couldn't do that. Not when I was preparing to cut myself off from her so completely.

By the end of the day, I was miserable. All I could think about was Bella. I forced myself to look at her no more than necessary, not to talk to her, not to be mad when someone said something rude to her. _Only an endless amount of days to go_, I said wryly to myself. The next day was meaningless. And the day after that. And the day after that. The only thing that changed was the increasing amount of anxiety I felt for the day to come. And then, I knew it was time. My time was up. I had to do it.

"Come for a walk with me," I commanded, giving no opportunity for her to say no. It was now or never. As if she knew what was going on, her heart was practically pounding through her chest. I knew my pulse would have been ringing in my ears if I had one. I was panicking. I knew what I was going to say and I had known it for days. The panic was threatening to overtake me. I took a deep breath and turned to face her, my expression stoic.

"Okay, let's talk." She was trying to sound brave but I knew she was feeling the same panic I was.

"Bella, we're leaving."

For some reason, she looked relived. "Why now? Another year-"

"Bella, it's time," Yes, it was time. "How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless." She had to know I was lying. I expected her to snort and burst out laughing saying, "Oh Edward! You crack me up!" But that wasn't happening. She was thinking very hard and then realization dawned on her beautiful face. She looked sick. And I was staring at her like an emotionless statue. I was so cruel.

"When you say we-," she whispered. She looked like she couldn't continue.

"I mean my family and myself."

She shook her head minutely, trying to clear it. She stayed frozen for a few minutes. I waited, savoring every second I still had with her even though I was causing indescribable agony for both of us.

"Okay, I'll come with you." Yes! Please come with us!

"You can't, Bella," I started. Yes, she can! Let her come! "Where we're going… It's not right for you." Yes, finding Victoria and beating her to a pulp didn't seem like the proper place for a lady.

"Where you are is the right place for me." Of course, it is!

"I'm no good for you, Bella." I wish I was perfect for you, Bella.

"Don't be ridiculous. You're the very best part of my life," she begged.

"My world is not for you." At least that was true. Everything else was a lie. It's all a lie, Bella! Don't listen to me! I'm lying! I wanted to scream it at her from some distant rooftop.

"What happened with Jasper-that was nothing. Edward! Nothing!" She was begging and getting more hysterical with her unashamed pleading. I wanted to hold her just one more time. My last time.

"You're right. It was exactly what was to be expected." I still sounded like a person who whipped puppies. A person without a heart.

"You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay-." I wanted to stay. I really, really, really wanted to stay with her super-glued to my side.

"As long as that was best for you." And now my time was up. I was never, ever good enough for her. I was never what was best for her.

"_No!_ This is about my soul, isn't it?" She screeched, tears running silently down her face. She didn't seem to notice. "Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. You can have my soul. I don't want it without you! It's yours already!"

She was giving me her soul. Her soul, for God's sake. She was torturing me. Giving me the thing that I least wanted. If I had her soul, she was a vampire, some soulless, dead creature, walking around killing people. I stared at the cold, constantly damp ground. And took a deep breath. And told Isabella Swan the most untrue statement I have ever told anyone.

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me."

I was greeted by silence. Surely she would know I was lying. She had to. It was my only hope.

"You…don't…want…me?" She was shocked. And she believed me. Why? Why did she have to believe me?

"No." Of course I wanted her! Was she crazy?

"Well, that changes things." She said, still stunned by the words coming from my mouth. I looked away.

"Of course I'll always love you," I wanted to end the sentence there but I had to finish it. "In a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm… tired of pretending I'm something that I'm not, Bella. I am not human." I wished I was human but that didn't mean I was. "I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that." I wanted it to go on forever. I was sorrier than she would ever know. Could even comprehend.

"Don't," she whispered hoarsely. "Don't do this." I didn't want to. How could she not see that I was burning inside? That I was in agony because I was destroying her, piece by piece. Bit by bit.

"You're not good for me, Bella." She was my _life_! How could she not be good for me?

"If… that's what you want." She was struggling to form a sentence. She had to know that this wasn't what I wanted. What I needed. I needed to stay with her, every hour of every day. Every second of every minute.

I suddenly remembered something. The most important thing of all. If she didn't do what I asked this one last time, she would die, and I would die, whether my family liked it or not.

I asked her to do something for me.

"Don't do anything reckless or stupid. Do you understand what I'm saying?" I poured all of my love, my passion, my being into those two sentences, hoping, praying that she would obey. She nodded. She looked confused, maybe hoping that I did care for her after all. I had to destroy that hope like the monster I was\. "I'm thinking of Charlie, of course," No, I couldn't be talking about how I wanted her to live forever. "He needs you. Take care of yourself- for him," I tacked on.

"I will," she mumbled.

I promised I would never interfere again. That I would never contact or see her again.

"Goodbye." My eyes were now focused on a spot above her head.

"Wait!" she seem to choke on her own words. I reached forward and grabbed her wrists. One last touch. I leaned down. One last look. I kissed her forehead. One last kiss.

"Take care of yourself," I said, emotion threatening to overtake me.

One.

Last.

Word.

It seems that Edward is very upset. Review! (Actually I have no idea how Edward being sad and reviews are in any way related but review anyway!)


	6. Leaving the Family

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. I am not Stephenie Meyer. The Twilight series is owned by Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended.

Author's note: Obviously, there is a lot of dialogue from _New Moon_. I'm not saying that it's mine, it belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Only what Edward is thinking is mine.

Leaving the Family

Her eyes closed, almost peacefully. I couldn't move. I was completely frozen. I saw her eyes begin to open and I jumped into the nearest tree, causing a slight disturbance of maple tree beside me. She would think I ran into the forest. She stumbled into the trees, searching helplessly for someone that wasn't there. I wanted to take her in my arms. But I was frozen again. I listen closely to every step she took. Every stumble felt like thunder to my ears. Eventually, she tripped and fell on the ground. And didn't get up. Normally, I would rush to her side, pick her up and dust her off but I couldn't do that now. I couldn't do anything. I sat in the crook of the tree watching the sky grow dark. There was no moon. The sky was empty. Just like my heart. I didn't feel anything, I was sure I would. But my mind was shell shocked. I wanted to sleep, to make it all disappear. Then, with any luck, I would never wake up. Awareness began to seep into my mind. I had succeeded in destroying eight lives today. Mine, Bella's, and my family's. That had to be a record. I was in agony because I had broken every single promise to Bella. Because I had lied. Because I hated myself. But why was I being so rational? The only thing I could think about was my own agony. I was drowning in my self pity. There were no thoughts of Bella yet. I had only seen her a few hours ago. In a day, I would miss her and be longing to return to her. If I thought of Bella, every thought got snarled and tangled in the infinite space of my mind.

Soon the search parties came. They called and shouted but no answer. I knew she was okay, I could hear her breathing. I remembered the pictures and the presents. I wanted to leave them with her. Some small reminder of the time I had spent with her. But that would be another promise broken. She would not remember me. I had to erase myself from her human memories in every way possible. I snuck in through her still open window and immediately found the pictures of Bella and myself on her desk. I gathered everything that I or my family had given her and prepared to shred and/or crush them to bits. But I couldn't. I had to have some reminder of me somewhere, even if it was hidden. I imagined fifty years from now, Bella remodeling Charlie's house or something. She rips up the floorboard and there are all her things. She starts to cry and becomes the world's best vampire tracker. Then she finds me and we live happily ever after. _Dream on, Edward_, I said to myself. So I ripped up the floorboard and shoved everything in, creating a big mess. I was tempted to leave it like that, but what if she did actually find it? So I neatened it up and left a note on it.

_Dearest, dearest Bella,_

_I love you so much. I'm sorry for leaving you. I wish I was the right one for you. You have to know that I would never intentionally hurt you. But this I had to do in order to save you. Maybe by now you are married to someone and have forgotten about me. I hope so. Again, I love you and I'm sorry._

_Edward_

By the end, I realized I had written up the sides and around again. I sighed. I couldn't leave this. What if she found it next week? It would be a dream come true but then I would have to leave again. I ripped it up and dumped the powder next to her pile of things. I threw myself out the window and wished I could die so easily. I didn't even bother to go feet first. What was the point? I landed on my stomach and laid there for a while, breathing in the damp earth.

I heard the search party return, triumphant. I hoped nobody would come around the back of the house. I heard Bella's soft voice, so quiet that nobody could hear.

"He's gone. He's gone. He's gone. He's gone." No. I was right here! Somebody look out the damned window!

I just stayed there for a while as the room got quieter and quieter. If not for the burning next to my heart, it might have been peaceful.

"Edward." I jumped up and kicked in the general direction of the voice, sending whomever spoke into a nearby tree.

"Geez! I was only trying to help!" I breathed a sigh of relief. It was Emmett.

"What are you doing here, Emmett?" I growled, still tense from his sudden arrival.

"Esme was worried. I told her you were probably crawling around in some ditch. Well, I was almost right," Emmett snorted.

"Be quiet. We might wake them up."

"Ooohh. Touchy, touchy. I wouldn't be so mean," he teased, still at the same volume.

"Shhh. What do you want?" I knew what _I _wanted. I wanted to be left alone.

"Shouldn't you already know?" I jumped. I course I should. God, I was so out of it.

"No! You are _not _coming with me!"

"Please! It will be so much fun! I'll even shut up!" Emmett offered.

"No! If you go, Rose goes. And I am not having her tracking right next to me for the next thousand years."

"I'm not letting you go alone," He said more seriously. "If you make some split second decision, Alice won't be able to stop you." I knew exactly which split second decision he was talking about.

"All the more reason for you to stay with the family."

"No."

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Bye!"

"Wait, what?" Emmett was confused with the sudden turn in the conversation. By then I already had a three second head start. And I was faster than him. I ran to the house. Ran upstairs to my room, grabbed my wallet (which was full of unused cash) and threw myself out the window for the second time that day.

What is with Edward and him flinging himself out windows? Please, _please _review everyone!


	7. Agony

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. I am not Stephenie Meyer. The Twilight series is owned by Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended. Obviously, there is a lot of dialogue from _New Moon_. I'm not saying that it's mine, it belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Only what Edward is thinking is mine.

Author's note: Finally! It's actually my plot now. Some of the things that Edward does are what Stephenie Meyer says he does but what is Edward not telling Bella?

Agony

It took me a few days to shake off Emmett. He ran tirelessly after me, always just four or five miles behind me. Eventually, I got to a huge river. I quickly found a rotting, hollow log and tossed my wallet in it on my way by. I prayed Emmett wouldn't take it. Then I jumped into the river and swam upstream for ten or so miles. Then I waited underwater. He never came. I was glad that he went the other way. Hopefully, he was back with Carlisle and the others by now. When I emerged from the disgusting, polluted water it was night. I floated on my back all the way back to the tiny beach where I had jumped in, thinking all the while about Bella. I missed her so much. I was sorely tempted to return to her window as I had planned, but I wasn't sure if my family had cleared out yet. Alice would have seen my plot by now. My mouth twisted into a smirk. I wanted to return. It wouldn't be so horrible to see her just once or twice or thirty times a month would it? No. Only once a month. That's what I promised myself.

Then my phone rang. Wait, my phone rang? I had forgotten about it. I took it out and examined it quickly. The front screen was cracked from where my stone body had landed on it outside of Bella's house. Then when I flipped it open I realized the screen was black in some places where the water had gotten to it. That thing was a tank.

"Hello?" I said to Alice.

"Edward. I know what you're planning."

"Where are you? Can they hear you?" I asked.

"No. I told them I wanted to hunt alone today. Edward, if you're going to come back once a month than so can I!"

"No! Go somewhere else! You might tell her something," I accused her.

"Edward Cullen, I am disappointed in your faith in my ability to be quiet. You're being selfish to both me _and _Bella," she told me.

"Oh? How am I being selfish to Bella?"

"How would you feel if she could see you but you couldn't see you?" She said.

"I'm a vampire. I would see if she was spying on me."

"_Edward!_ You know what I mean!" I did know what she meant.

"Alice. You can live without seeing Bella. You have Jasper. You have your other half. I don't. I have to see her, hear her to survive. Unless you want me to go kill myself…" I knew it was a low blow, but it was the only way I could convince her.

"Are you threatening me? Of course I don't want you to go kill yourself and don't make me wish I did!"

"Goodbye, Alice," I said, knowing I had won the argument.

I sat up. I could see Bella if I wanted to, right now. No. In a month.

Suddenly, I felt extremely weak. I crawled on my hands and knees to a soft patch of grass. I couldn't stand lying on the sand with each little pebble brushing constantly against my sensitive skin. I laid down on my back and closed my eyes, letting the anguish I had put off wash over me. It was a physical pain. It began at my heart and crept over my skin like ants crawl over rotting food. I waited until every ounce of being was feeling some sort of pain. I welcomed it. I deserved it. Yet I hated it. If only I was human, I could stay with her, _my Bella_, forever. I could avoid this terrible woe I had to endure. Bella's heart wouldn't be broken, no matter for how short a time. Her shocked words echoed in my head. My response almost made me writhe in agony.

_You…don't…want…me?_

_No._

I was so heartless ripping up some poor creature's dreams. I knew what I meant to her, at the moment. I knew how much she loved me. And I knew how much I loved her. It was an infinite amount. Just in her changing expressions, I could find something worth living for. But it wasn't enough for her. I wasn't good enough for the perfection that was Bella. She would find someone who loved her as much as I did. I would be incredibly jealous of his good fortune. They would get married and she would forget about me. And all would be right with the world. The heinous creature destroyed itself with its own guilt and the fair maiden lived happily ever after with her Prince Charming. Life was cruel.

I don't really think now is the right time to say something faintly hilarious about reviewing so imagine I'm saying it really quietly. Review… you know you want to….


	8. Screaming

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. I am not Stephenie Meyer. The Twilight series is owned by Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended. Obviously, there is a lot of dialogue from _New Moon_. I'm not saying that it's mine, it belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Only what Edward is thinking is mine.

Author's note: Finally! It's actually my plot now. Some of the things that Edward does are what Stephenie Meyer says he does but what is Edward not telling Bella?

Screaming

The next twenty-nine days were a blur of hunting, pain, and forcing myself to get up off the ground every day. Then, I knew it was finally time. Finally time to see the love of my life. By this time, she should have been over me and moved on. She might have been seeing Mike Newton. But what I saw was what I least expected. I stepped onto the property at exactly 12:01 AM. I wasn't breaking my rules. I just wanted as much time with her as possible. Then I climbed the tree outside her window and looked in at my sleeping darling. I nearly fell out of the tree. The circles under her eyes were almost black. And, in her sleep, she had ripped the covers from herself, exposing how thin she was. She was tossing and turning like she did when she had nightmares. But those things were not the worst part. She was screaming. And screaming. And screaming. Ear drum shattering screaming.

"No! No! Don't leave me! Don't go! PLEASE!" She pleaded in her sleep.

"No! No! No! Don't go! I love you! Please! No! No! NO!" The last "no" was punctuated by another scream.

"NO!" And she woke herself up. She panted and looked around her empty room, her eyes passing over the window. Then I saw the tears glistening in her eyes. And she began to sob heart wrenching sobs. The worst part was she was sobbing my name, over and over and over again.

"Edward! Edward, Edward, Edward, Edward." She sobbed for almost an hour.

I watched with unblinking eyes as the horror unfolded in front of me. I was why she couldn't sleep. I was why she was so thin. I was why she screamed, she sobbed. As much as I wanted to see her, I couldn't live with the guilt.

Once a month, I would spy on her for a full twenty-four hours. I watched because I destroyed her so completely. And I had to see her to survive. I returned to the small beach where I had first come and did my daily ritual of thinking of ways to make this better somehow. I never thought of anything. But this time I didn't get up. I don't know how long I lay there, wallowing in my self pity. It might have been hours. It might have been days. I just lay there like the pathetic person I am. But needs won; I had to hunt. I didn't want to but the thought that I would see Bella in a mere thirty days kept me going. It always did.

That was really hard for me to write. I hate it when Bella gets all comatose. But I really like it when I get reviews, it makes me happy!!! : )


	9. Visiting Tanya

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. I am not Stephenie Meyer. The Twilight series is owned by Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended. Obviously, there is a lot of dialogue from _New Moon_. I'm not saying that it's mine, it belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Only what Edward is thinking is mine.

Author's note: Finally! It's actually my plot now. Some of the things that Edward does are what Stephenie Meyer says he does but what is Edward not telling Bella?

Visiting Tanya

I caught a few deer then took off, grabbing my wallet and jumping over the river in one long stride. After that, I didn't know what to do with myself. It was really pathetic. So I sat and I plotted. Where was the logical place for Victoria to go? She probably wanted to regroup which meant if I found Laurent, I would find Victoria. Luckily for me, I had a vampire memory. He said he was interested in our lifestyle. He was going to Denali. That meant visiting Tanya. She would surely know that I was single again. Extremely single. Damn it all, I wasn't going to Tanya's. I refused. But in order to save Bella, I had to find Victoria. I sighed. It was time to see Tanya.

"Edward!" Tanya cried, exuberant.

_Hello, Edward. Oh, he looks as perfect as ever. He must have come to his senses. It's about time! _

I stood frozen as she looked over me, triumph in her eyes. I should have realized she would think that I had come back for her.

"Tanya, I believe there's a mis-"

"Shhh," she interrupted, pressing a cool finger to my lips. "I just want to savor the moment. Mmmmm… I'm so glad you've finally dumped that human girl. I knew she wasn't right for you. We should thank Jasper for bringing you to your senses, Eddie." I growled at her annoying nickname. She giggled.

"Tanya," I began again. "I'm afraid that, um, well…"

"Yes?" She inquired.

"I'm afraid that there's been a misunderstanding."

"Oh. OH!" her expression soured. "Then why come back? Don't tell me you did some sort of romantic "leaving for her" crap on your human girlfriend."

I stayed silent.

"Oh, good Lord, Edward. You really know the way to a woman's heart," she said sarcastically. "Well, what do you need if it's not me?" She winked. I rolled my eyes.

_Still as annoying as ever. I guess it's not true what they say. Love doesn't soften the heart now does it?_

"So, where is everyone?" I asked amiably, ignoring her thoughts.

"I don't know. Hunting or something. What do you want? You never come up for a nice, little chat."

"Is it really so wrong of me to want to talk with my dear cousin Tanya?"

"Yes. Obviously. What do you want?" She demanded.

I sighed. "Where's Laurent?"

"Who? Oh, Irina's little fling?"

"What? He was dating Irina?"

"Yes. He left though, he said he had something to do for a friend. I don't know if I believe him. I think he was sneaking in some people with the moose."

I stiffened. A friend that might be…

"Was the friend's name Victoria?"

"Yes. How did you know that?"

But I wasn't listening to her question. Either he was going after me or he was going after Bella.

"When did he leave?" I asked her, my voice hard.

"Just a few hours ago. His eyes were very dark. I don't know if he'll be able to contain himself if he happens across somebody," she stated worriedly.

From what I could gather of Laurent's mind, in the few minutes I had spoken to him, he liked to savor his meals. Which meant either torture or getting very thirsty before….

"Actually," she added. "He said she had promised him a snack of some sorts…"

Oh, Tanya. When will you ever learn that Edward isn't interested? If you think Tanya is being stupid, review! But you don't actually have to say anything about Tanya if you don't want to.


	10. Laurent and the Werewolves

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. I am not Stephenie Meyer. The Twilight series is owned by Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended. Obviously, there is a lot of dialogue from _New Moon_. I'm not saying that it's mine, it belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Only what Edward is thinking is mine.

Author's note: Finally! It's actually my plot now. Some of the things that Edward does are what Stephenie Meyer says he does but what is Edward not telling Bella?

Laurent and the Werewolves

I was frozen with the sudden terror that washed over me. He was planning on eating Bella. Victoria told him to do it. And he had left a few _hours_ ago.

"I have to go," I said, getting out of the chair.

"Why?" Tanya whined. "You just got here! Stay! I insist!" _Get your ass in the chair, Edward, before I make you._

"He's going to kill her, Tanya! How could you possibly _not _see that?"

"Why do you even care? _You _broke up with _her_! Not the other way around, stupid! Plus, if you're planning on killing Laurent, she'll probably see you making a fire and burning him," her voice was getting louder and louder.

"I don't care! If she sees me, I'm going to beg, yes _beg,_ for her to take me back. She is the only thing worth begging for."

"If you're going to kill him, you're killing Irina!" She shouted at me. "Don't you dare… EDWARD!" But I was already out the door and ghosting over the snow.

I wished I had stolen a car or something from Tanya. It was time consuming to keep dodging all those trees. Finally, I heard something.

"Please," she said hoarsely, so soft only a vampire could here. I tried to think of ways to pull get Laurent out of the clearing with out her seeing me. I had to find a rock, and throw it at him. Then he would turn and see me standing there, but Bella wouldn't be able to see. I prepared to find a boulder of some sorts. But then I heard something not vampire, but… wolf-like? They couldn't be real dogs, they were moving too fast. Strangely fast. And then I smelled the familiar wet sheepdog smell. The wolves had come back.

"Look at it this way, Bella. You're very lucky I was the one to find you."

"Am I?" She breathed. She stumbled back a step.

Laurent slowly closed half the distance between him and Bella.

"Yes. I'll be very quick," he lied. He wasn't planning on being quick at all. Victoria had told him to make it as slow as possible. The anger within me bubbled over, and I prepared to throw my rock at his disgusting face. "You won't feel a thing, I promise. Oh, I'll lie to Victoria about that later, naturally, just to placate her. But if you knew what she had planned for you, Bella…. I swear you'd be thanking me for this."

The wolves trotted behind a bush and began planning.

_When are we going?_

_Now! We have to go now! It's Bella!_

_Jacob._ I recognized the deep tenor of the voice of the alpha. _Just because you know her doesn't mean anything. We handle this like we handle any other creature._

A different wolf sniffed the air and _almost_ looked up at me hiding in the trees.

_Is there another vampire here or is it just me?_ The others sniffed around. I stopped breathing.

_I… don't know. It doesn't matter. Our priority is getting Jacob's Bella out of there. _

_Jacob's_ Bella? My mind was reeling. Had she gotten a boyfriend? The thought made me insane with jealousy. I peered carefully at the wolves, trying to decipher where this Jacob's thoughts were coming from.

_Now!_ They silently screamed simultaneously and crept out of view. The enormous black alpha snarled at the now petrified Laurent.

_Oh, crap. _He thought and ran.

"Don't move an inch," I whispered to Bella, having circled the clearing in a second. I suddenly realized I was right behind her. I expected her to turn, startled, but she didn't. Was she used to hearing my voice. As more of the wolves came into view, she gasped and hopped back a step, almost running into my stone body. She was so, so close. I wanted so badly to wind my arms around her slender waist, hugging her close. But that was impossible. The wolves growled in unison and bounded after the elusive vampire. She stood there for a moment, shocked by the events that had just played right before her eyes. Her legs failed her and she tumbled to the ground, sobbing. After a few moments, she took a deep breath and tried to run through the thick forest. I jumped from tree to tree, making sure she got home safely. Only then did I notice she had been in our meadow.

Grrr… bad Laurent! Review all you want!


	11. Jacob

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. I am not Stephenie Meyer. The Twilight series is owned by Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended. Obviously, there is a lot of dialogue from _New Moon_. I'm not saying that it's mine, it belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Only what Edward is thinking is mine.

Author's note: Finally! It's actually my plot now. Some of the things that Edward does are what Stephenie Meyer says he does but what is Edward not telling Bella?

Jacob

After I had watched Bella sleep fitfully through the night, I reasoned that since I hadn't seen her for the entire day, I could see her all day. The thought made me giddy with happiness. After Bella had tried desperately to talk to Charlie about the "cult" Jacob was in and tried to call the Black's house she drove to La Push. I stood on the boundary line and hoped that Jacob's house wasn't so far in that I couldn't hear. Bella drifted in and out of my range of my hearing. It was extremely irritating not being able to listen to every conversation she had. She talked to someone named Quil for a while. She took him home and stopped outside what I assumed was the Black residence. She sat for about a quarter of an hour when there was a sharp rap against her truck window. She gasped, startled.

"What are you doing here, Bella?" Jacob rumbled in a deep voice. I immediately connected this voice to the brown-red wolf in the meadow.

"Jacob?" she asked in disbelief. He must not have usually been that rude. I tried to concentrate on his elusive thoughts.

_What… doing here? Doesn't she… I am? She… smart. Usually… things out pretty quickly. Especially… Edward. _His thoughts were angry and jealous when he thought my name. Was he her boyfriend or not? And his thoughts kept drifting in and out of my range. It was all very annoying.

"What do you want?" he said with echoes of his anger in his tone.

"I want to talk to you," she said, perhaps not as furiously as she had hoped.

"Go ahead." _Bella don't listen to me. So… sorry. Can't… stop lying. Control. Control. Control!_

"Alone!" she hissed at him, gaining some of her anger.

_Can I do it? Can I… not kill her? Have to… Sam. _

"Okay."

"You know what I want to know," she said almost pleadingly. When he didn't answer she said, "Can we walk?" I could almost hear her silent plea. Hopefully they would move in my direction so I could hear better.

"Let's get this over with." _Look at what you're doing to her, stupid! Stop being so mean! She looks like how she did after the bloodsucker broke up with her. _A brief mental image of Bella at her worst flashed before, causing me to cringe in guilt.

"It's not what you think. It's not what I thought- I was way off," he said exhaustedly, weighed down with grief.

"So what is it, then?" She demanded answers he could not possibly give. I _almost _felt pity for him.

"I… can't tell you."

"I thought we were friends," she stated unfeelingly.

"We were." _I still want to be, Bella. I love you! I love you!_ My pity immediately evaporated. How dare he love _my _Bella? She was _mine_. But wasn't this what I wanted? Someone human. No. He was half human. I could kill him. He would probably put up a fight. I would win. Or die trying.

"But you don't need friends anymore. You have Sam," she imitated his blind love of his alpha. "Isn't that nice-you've always looked up to him so much," she added sarcastically.

"I didn't understand him before," he stated simply.

"And now you've seen the light. Hallelujah." Again with the sarcasm. I smiled, loving how her words were like acid on his skin.

"It wasn't like I thought it was. This isn't Sam's fault. He's helping me as much as he can." His voice burned with rage.

"He's helping you," she repeated. "Naturally."

Jacob was taking deep breaths. _Calm. Calm. Think. Think. Think of freaking ponies if you have to, Jacob. Rainbows and freaking ponies. Get. Under. Control. N-O-W. _I was impressed with his control. But Bella probably realized something was wrong. She had to get out of there.

"Jacob, please," she beseeched him. "Won't you tell me what happened? Maybe I can help."

"No one can help me now," he moaned pathetically.

"What did he do to you?" She said with barely contained fury in her voice. She kept blaming Sam. Ha! If not for Bella's obvious pain, this would have been extremely entertaining. She must have reached forward to brush his arm in comfort because he immediately said,

"Don't touch me." _If you touch me I'll explode. Too much emotion. _

"Is Sam catching?"

"Stop blaming Sam." Did Sam tell his little pack to defend him whenever possible? No wonder Bella thought it was a cult.

"Then who should I blame?" She shot back at him.

"You don't want to hear that."

"The hell I don't! I want to know and I want to know _now!" _She said shrilly.

"You're wrong!" He snapped at her. He was being rude to her. If he loved her like her said he did, she would know by now. He hadn't imprinted on her. Thank God. Almost everyone imprinted, contrary to their legends. He would hurt her if he left her for his "soul mate". Then maybe she would come running back to me. I was lost for a minute in my happy fantasies. Then I remembered they were still talking.

"You're being ridiculous." For some reason, she sounded like she was talking to two people.

"Fine. I won't argue it with you. It doesn't matter anyway, the damage is done."

"_What damage?_" She shrieked at him. I smirked.

"Let's head back. There's nothing more to say."

"There's everything more to say! You haven't said anything yet!"

I heard footsteps walking away from her. "I ran into Quil today!" she shouted at him. The footsteps stopped but no sound.

"You remember your friend Quil?" she asked, bitter sarcasm in her perfect voice. "Yeah he's terrified." She was rubbing it in.

"Quil?" He asked stupidly.

She added salt to his wounds when she said, "He's frightened that he's next."

Jacob mumbled something and began and succeeded in breaking a nearby tree.

There was a short silence then Jacob stated "I have to get back to Sam."

"Back to Sam!" she shouted. He mumbled something I couldn't hear from the distance.

"Wait!" She pleaded. The same words she said to me. She must have been in so much pain. Dumped by the two people who seemed to have loved her the most.

"Go home, Bella. I can't hang out with you anymore."

"Are you… breaking up with me?" So had they been going out? It seemed like they were just friends. I prayed it was just a poor choice of words.

As they got closer and closer to the house I strained to hear what they were saying.

"…why? Sam…other friends? …Jake. …Promised. I need you!" It sounded like she was choking.

"…sorry, Bella," he sounded like I had when I had left her. Each word was painful (for her) in its own special way.

"…don't quit on me now, Jake. I…take it."

I wished desperately wished I could hear what Jacob was thinking.

"…not you. …all me. …not about you."

I assumed she said something so softly I couldn't hear it.

Jacob spoke again. "…not good…friend anymore…. I'm not good." His voice was husky with emotion.

"You're my friend, that's what you are! Jake…." She shrieked so loud I could hear perfectly.

He said something indecipherable. It started to rain. I stood alone in the empty road waiting for her truck to come rumbling by. But it didn't. What was she doing? Standing in the rain? Probably.

I jumped out of the way when she finally came slowly out of the little town. Her face was empty of all emotion and for some reason she was clutching her heart. I couldn't tell if the water on her face was rain or tears. Eventually, after she arrived home, she put on her pajamas and crawled into bed. She stared at the ceiling and thought hard for a while. The tears began to stream down her face. Then she fell asleep. I looked at her through the window. For almost two hours I watched the tears still glistening on her face. I lifted the window and silently climbed in. There was no chance of her waking up but I still crept around like a robber. I stood over her slumbering form and just breathed in her delicious scent. I barely noticed the burn in my throat. Carefully, always carefully, I wiped away the tears from her porcelain face.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

Edward is so sweet when he's breaking his own rules. Please review!!


	12. Flying

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. I am not Stephenie Meyer. The Twilight series is owned by Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended. Obviously, there is a lot of dialogue from _New Moon_. I'm not saying that it's mine, it belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Only what Edward is thinking is mine.

Author's note: Finally! It's actually my plot now. Some of the things that Edward does are what Stephenie Meyer says he does but what is Edward not telling Bella?

Flying

I sighed. My twenty four hours were up. I smoothly closed her window and walked out the front door. I was fairly sure that Jacob would be coming soon to make Bella guess about his true identity. He was expecting her to be scared. I smirked to myself. Bella was the bravest person I knew. She wouldn't be scared.

I decided to go hunting. As soon as I had finished, Alice called.

"Good timing," I said.

"Whatever. Edward, I have info on Victoria," she stated urgently.

"Really? Where is she? Where is she going?"

"Well, she was trying to get to Bella when the wolves stopped her. She's getting extremely frustrated with them. First Laurent, and now her. But what does she expect? The wolves to just stand aside and-?"

"Alice. Focus," I interrupted.

"Right. I think, but it's still hazy, I think she's heading South America. She heard there were three sisters there, very powerful. She thinks they could help her," Alice said worriedly. "I don't think they will help her but you should go and make sure."

"I think she's talking about Zafrina, Senna, and Karichiri, the Amazonian coven. They wouldn't be a part of her plans. But I'll go. Thank you, Alice. Goodbye," I said with the same urgency she did.

"Wait!" She giggled. "Have fun on the plane, Edward." And she hung up. What did that mean? I guessed I'd find out.

I got myself a plane ticket to South America by bribing some higher up. I even got first-class. The flight attendant looked at me strangely when she saw I had no luggage and a one way ticket but that changed.

_Okay, Rebecca. Just look him in the eye and say "hi". If he asks for a drink write your number on the napkin. Okay here it goes._

"Hello, sir," Rebecca said politely.

"Hi."

She tossed her blond hair behind her shoulder.

"Can I get you a drink Mister…?"

"Cullen."

"Right. Can I get you a drink Mister Cullen?" she asked in what she thought was her "sexy" voice. It sounded like something dying.

"No." Might as well be direct.

"Are you sure you don't want anything?" she said coquettishly.

"Yes. I am very busy right now, miss," I said though I had nothing in front of me. "If you could please leave me in silence…?"

"Oh. Um. Fine. Just press the call button if you need something."

The plane was silent for a few moments. Then someone started screaming.

"Oh my God! Someone please help! Help! Help!" I considered just sitting there pretending I couldn't hear anything, but my better side told me to go help. With a sigh, I lifted myself out of the seat and drifted into where the screaming was coming from.

"What?"

"Oh my God! Mister Cullen, the pilot is drunk and he passed out!" I looked at the floor. There was the pilot, passed out with some sort of goo dripping from his half-open mouth.

"Why the hell is he drunk, Rebecca?" I asked, outraged. People were such idiots.

"I don't know! He must have stolen something from the kitchen! Do you know how to fly a plane?" Her mind was incoherent with panic. I resisted rolling my eyes. They'd be amazed at how much they could think about if they didn't panic.

"Where's the co-pilot?"

"I don't know! Maybe the pilot killed him…." Her voice drifted off. "Oh my God. I bet he did. He's probably trying to kill us. Oh my God, he's trying to kill us all!" She started screaming hysterically.

"Or our favorite pilot offered him some liquor," I said pointing at the floor where the co-pilot was struggling to get up. "Rebecca I want you to get out of here. You're excruciatingly annoying."

She opened her mouth to defend herself when I said, "Go. I'll fly the plane. And yes I know how," I added, reading her thoughts. She wandered out of the room, picking up the empty bottle of liquor. I suddenly realized what Alice meant when she said to have fun on the plane. She was going to get it. I picked up the radio headset and put it on.

"This is flight 51610 requesting the control tower." I waited.

"Control tower. Please state your problem flight 51610." The man sounded professional. Hopefully he wouldn't go nuts.

"This is Edward Cullen. Both the pilot and the co-pilot have passed out, because of liquor problems. I do know how to fly. If you could just direct me to the airport that would be great."

"What the hell? You are telling me that both the pilot and… everyone is… passed out. And oh my God! What the hell is going on up there! Estaban! Get your ass over here! Code red! Code red! " So much for professionalism. "Look kid, you got a license to fly that plane?"

"No, but—."

"You are not flying that plane. No. Absolutely not. See if there's a guy with a license up there. Make him fly."

I snorted. "Thank you for your help, sirs. I suppose I'll find the airport on my own."

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wa--!" I turned off the headset and looked at our coordinates. I began to land perfectly. When we were on the ground, someone was storming toward me.

"Why in hell did you do that? You're can't be over twenty!"

"Shouldn't you be congratulating or something similar to that?" I smiled at him. I could fly better than any pilot. And he knew it.

"The point is you can't just… hey! Where are you going?"

After a lot of searching, I finally found the sisters by river, hunting fishermen.

"Edward," Zafrina greeted me throatily. "It's been a while. What brings you to the Amazon?"

I explained the Victoria situation to them and they said they would look out for her.

I ran into the nearby woods. I jumped into a few trees and looked forward to hunting a few exotic animals. I crept slowly behind an unsuspecting panther who was also looking for prey. Then, of course, my phone rang loudly. The panther, startled, growled at me. I roared Emmett style and as he ran away I looked at the Caller ID. I sighed.

"What do you want, Rosalie?"

Can anyone guess what's about to happen? Brace yourselves… and review!


	13. Contingency Plans

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. I am not Stephenie Meyer. The Twilight series is owned by Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended. Obviously, there is a lot of dialogue from _New Moon_. I'm not saying that it's mine, it belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Only what Edward is thinking is mine.

Contingency Plans

"Edward," she said simply.

"Yes?" I drawled. I waited but she said nothing. "What?"

"I'm not sure how to tell you this but… Alice saw a decision… of Bella's… that was… unpreventable," she said haltingly.

"What decision?" I asked as if I was asking a baby if they had swallowed something they weren't supposed to.

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I know how you felt about her. Alice didn't want to tell you but someone had to, right? She said we should tell you in person but you won't come home and I didn't want to wait because it isn't fair to you or to the rest of the family," she said with a passion.

"You skipped over the part where you tell me what the hell is going on," I clenched my teeth, knowing something horrible was about to happen.

"Edward. Bella… committed suicide."

"I don't believe you. She promised she wouldn't," I stated calmly.

"It's true! Alice saw her make a split second decision to go cliff diving in the wolf lands from really, really high up. But… she never made it out of the water."

I shuddered at the image of Bella's body slowly floating to the bottom of such rough waters.

"Goodbye, Rosalie. Tell everyone I said hi."

"No! Edward-!" I hung up on her. I'd been doing a lot of that lately.

But what if she hadn't been lying? My long dead stomach clenched painfully. I started gasping even though I really didn't need air. I had to call. If Charlie picked up, I would ask where she was. If _she _picked up, I would just hang up the phone. I would have to pretend to be Carlisle. I punched in the number on my phone a little harder than necessary, causing the numbers to crack under my fingers. It began to ring.

"Swan residence," someone answered. I realized it was Jacob. What the hell was he doing there? He was probably breaking and entering, trying to steal the one thing in my life that kept me alive. But if Bella wasn't there… I didn't allow myself to think about it.

"This is Dr. Carlisle Cullen and I was wonder where Charlie might be."

"He's not here," Jacob said rudely.

"Well, where is he?" I asked, sounding nothing like Carlisle.

He paused then reluctantly said, "He's at the funeral."

I hung up. My breathing had turned into horrible, ragged wheezes. My fingers dug into the soft bark of the tree I was sitting in.

No. It wasn't possible. It couldn't be possible. This wasn't happening. But it was. Every nightmare, every sorrow, every single horrible thing that had happened in my life combined had nothing on the pain this produced. Even when I left, when I thought that pain was unbearable, it was really just nothing. Pain. Agony. Torture. Words can't describe it. All I could do was run. I had to run. Run away from people, from pain, from everything. My phone rang. I picked it up.

"Edward! Please! Don't! No!"

"Goodbye, Alice."

I ran to Rio and threw it into the nearby trash can, still hidden in the trees. I had to find somewhere to go. I had to run somewhere. Then I stopped. I could go somewhere. I could stop this agony. I could stop everything. I could stop breathing, stop hunting, and stop the unbearable pain. I could go to the Volturi.

You all knew it was going to happen at some point. I'm sorry! At least you know what's going to happen! I love all reviews so please review!


	14. Happy Memories

Disclaimer: I'm not Stephenie Meyer. Blah blah I don't own new moon blah forgot to copy the disclaimer from last chapter blah blah blech.

A/N: Depressed Edward rant coming up. Be prepared.

Happy Memories

I was strangely calm. Practically (and soon to be) dead, but calm. The serrated knife that was slashing at my heart time and time again bothered me, but still was not a matter of great importance, really. I knew exactly what I was going to do. I was going to the Volturi to see if they would kill me. If they refused, I would find some way to make them kill me. I boarded yet another plane and as luck would have it, Rebecca was the flight attendant again.

_Hello again! God must be trying to make us be together. I have to try! It will work this time, I know it!_

I almost felt bad for her. She was so full of foolish hope, selfish desire that was about to be squashed. The one thing she wanted would turn away from her and leave her depressed and sullen. I wasn't really sure if I was talking about me or Rebecca.

"Hi again, Mister Cullen!" she said brightly. I groaned internally at her disgusting thoughts. "I think this is meant to be. I mean what are the odds? HA!" she barked a laugh.

"Go away. Now," I growled menacingly.

"But why? These things don't just happen on their own. I mean, some sort of God must be involved," she prattled on, completely oblivious of how much I would love to ring her neck and toss her body out of the plane.

"I don't believe in God. Not anymore," I murmured instead.

"But, Mister Cullen—!"

"Look, Rebecca. If I wanted to, I could kill everyone on this plane within one minute. And I could do it with my bare hands. I just lost someone very important to me and if you don't leave me be, I will kill you first. Do you understand what I am saying, Rebecca?"

Her mouth opened and closed like a fish. She slowly backed away and in the process bumped into the drink cart. I smiled at her, showing my teeth. She let out a little squeak and locked herself in the bathroom. Well, that got rid of her for the rest of the plane ride.

I refused to think about Bella. There was no way I could think about her and not start gasping and screaming. I had to remain calm, unnoticed.

As soon as the plane touched the ground, I was out the doors before anyone saw me. I grabbed a cloak from a nearby store. Volterra. The name sent a shiver of excitement down my spine. Soon this unbearable pain would end. Soon it would all be over. I walked in the front entrance of the Volturi's lair, ignoring the stares of a few people.

"Hello and welcome to Volterra! My name is Gianna, how may I help you?" The receptionist was pretty, for a human but… _Bella_ was always more beautiful than anyone.

"My name is Edward Cullen and I request an appointment with Aro."

"He's a little busy right now but I'm sure—."

"It's urgent," I interrupted. Something in my eyes must have told her the urgency of the situation because she said into her earpiece,

"Alec, please come escort our guest to the main chamber." She paused. "Edward Cullen." Another pause. "Thank you."

Alec was instantly at the door. He nodded to me. I followed him down the long chamber at vampire speed and we were there in seconds. I walked into the main chamber where it appeared I had interrupted some meeting. I completely ignored Jane's outraged glare and turned to the three, majestic vampires standing on the other side of the medieval room.

"Aro, I have an… unusual favor to ask of you."

"Ask away, dear boy," Aro's voice seemed to echo throughout the small room

"Do you want to hear the favor or should I tell you the story first?" I asked, unsure of whether it would help my case or not.

"That won't be necessary." He drifted toward me. I shot across the room.

"I'd rather tell you myself," I said, making sure there was no skin-to-skin contact with Aro. I didn't want him knowing my thoughts. "My…" I didn't want to say girlfriend, it didn't seem important enough. "I left the love of my life for her own good. I left even though I loved her. She was human." Aro seemed surprised that my love was human. And he was pondering my use of the word "was". He knew where this was going. "Something went wrong when she was cliff diving with friends. She… drowned in the water. My favor is that you kill me. Preferably, in some quick way so my family won't look for me."

Aro looked somewhat shocked. Caius looked like he was going to deny what I wanted as usual. Marcus looked… emotionless.

"Edward, I don't know if I can do that. Carlisle would be very angry, for one thing. And I'm sure you would make a nice addition to our little coven here. We could make you happy again, Edward."

"I'm sure," I said sarcastically. "Thank you, Aro. I suppose I'll just find a way on my own. Goodbye."

"I'd say good luck but I'm not sure if that's the right thing to say at this time."

I sped out into the mid-morning sun. The clock tower. I would wait until the sun was directly overhead then I would step out into the sunlight. This was what they would be expecting. And it satisfied my theatrical tendencies. It was ten o'clock. I found a nearby alley to sit in, where I would emerge from to reveal the diamond quality of my skin.

Two hours to simmer in the pain. I curled into a ball and tried to ignore the thoughts around me. They were all too cheerful and happy for my grim mood. The hour and fifty five minutes passed agonizingly slowly. Thousands of memories of Bella's face were swirling around in my head. Bella laughing, Bella looking adorable as she bit her lower lip, Bella's face igniting with a fury that could never compare to mine. Bella everywhere. They say that thinking of the happy memories makes you happy. _They lie!_ I thought bitterly. When you think about the happy things, you think about how they will never occur again. Never, never, never! That person is gone, _gone_, forever and you're just supposed to think of the time you had with them? What a load of crap. All you think about is the time you could have had, the time you were supposed to have. Every single thing that you own reminds you of that person. Look, there's a flower pot! You think of when Bella dropped a vase. Look, there's a blue dress! You think of Bella's prom dress. Happy memories? HA! All they do is remind you of a person you shouldn't be reminded of. The only things that heal you are oblivion or death. And my only option was the latter.

I stood at the mouth of the alley wait for the first bell to chime. I would wait until all the bells had chimed to step into the light. I wouldn't want people to be distracted by the gonging. I stood still, waiting.

Ha! Cliffhanger! You know, quite a few of you people have read this story, the least you can do is review it! I'm aiming for at least 30 before I finish the next chapter. If I don't get it... I'm not going to post it until I do! No, not really. WHATEVER! Just review! (please) By the way, thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you who have reviewed. Love you all!


	15. Heaven After All

Disclaimer: I think you know by now but I'm not SM and I don't own Twilight (unfortunately for me).

A/N: Thank you everyone who contributed to my 30 reviews. Xoxoxoxo to you all and hope you love the chapter!!!!

Heaven After All

The chimes were taking too long to get to the end. I was impatient. I took a small step forward. I was ready. The Volturi were ready. The unsuspecting townspeople were ready. Everything was in its place. Everything was ready. The bells tolled again. I took a larger step toward the light. I was looking forward to seeing what was beyond this life, this half life now. Probably hell. I couldn't care less. This strange world without Bella was worse than any hell imaginable. I lifted my foot and prepared to die.

"No!" And something very solid slammed into me. Strange. I didn't recall stepping into the sunlight. Maybe they killed me _before_ I stepped into the sunlight. I slowly opened my eyes, preparing to meet the devil. Instead I saw Bella. I was holding _Bella_. I guess there was a heaven after all. Otherwise, she wouldn't have been here.

"Amazing," I stated, mildly surprised. "Carlisle was right."

"Edward," she panted at me. That was odd. Was the journey to heaven stressful for her? "You've got to get back into the shadows. You have to move!" What in the world was she talking about? There shouldn't be any rush in heaven. I smelled her delicious scent and my throat didn't even burn. I felt like singing. This was so beautiful, this moment. I wanted it to last forever. And it could last forever. She didn't even turn into a vampire! Happiness exploded within me and I pulled her closer, treasuring every second. I loved her so much.

"I can't believe how quick it was. I didn't feel a thing— they're very good. _Death, that hath suck the honey of thy breath, hath had no power yet upon thy beauty_," I quoted. "You smell exactly the same as always." **(Sorry I had to remove the rest of that to make the above statements make sense.)**

"I'm not dead. And neither are you! Please Edward, we have to move. They can't be far away!" Hmmmm… a pleasant little jolt seemed to run up and down my spine every time she said my name. I rather liked it. Oh, I missed what she said.

"What was that?"

"We're not dead, not yet!" she clarified. "But we have to get out of here before the Volturi—!" Suddenly, everything made sense. We were not dead. She was not dead, which was the most important thing of all. I still didn't know if heaven existed or not. The Volturi were coming. And Alice was hiding behind the wall and had been trying to communicate with me for the past five minutes.

_Edward! Get a grip—! Oh, are you listening now?_ _I hope so. Oh, crap! Protect Bella. I'll come when the time is right. _

Protect Bella? What did that—? Oh. Felix and Demetri were coming. Fast.

"Greetings, gentlemen," I stated amiably, though I was terrified for Bella's… health. "I don't think I'll be requiring your services today. I would appreciate it very much, however, if you would send my thanks to your masters." I knew this wouldn't sway them in the least. The guard was here to take us away. They knew Bella knew everything. They thought her a threat. I wouldn't let anything happen to her.

"Shall we take this conversation to a more appropriate venue?" Felix suggested smoothly. I wanted to rip his head off.

"I don't believe that will be necessary," I said, letting some of my anger seep into my tone. "I know your instructions, Felix. I haven't broken any rules."

"Felix merely meant to point out the proximity of the sun," Demetri said calmly, trying to defuse the fight before it began. "Let us seek better cover."

I laughed under my breath so they couldn't hear. "I'll be right behind you. Bella, why don't you go back to the squared and enjoy the festival?" They could take me, but they weren't taking Bella unless there was some sort of vampire sedative.

"No, bring the girl," Felix ordered menacingly.

"I don't think so," I said coldly. I shifted my weight, ready to pounce.

"No," Bella said quietly.

"Shh." I needed to concentrate.

"Felix," Demetri warned quietly. "Not here. Aro would simply like to speak to you again, if you have decided not to force our hand after all." I easily found the lie in Demetri's words.

_Sure, he just wants to speak with you. And kill your little girlfriend there if she refuses to join us. _

"Certainly, but the girl goes free," I countered.

"I'm afraid that's not possible. We do have rules to obey."

"Then _I'm_ afraid I won't be able to accept Aro's invitation, Demetri," I told him, my voice transforming into a frustrated growl.

"That's just fine," Felix said sarcastically, his voice still like honey.

"Aro will be disappointed," _that we have to kill you both, _Demetri finished to himself.

"I'm sure he'll survive the letdown," I replied frostily. They began to move in to attack. I didn't move. They would not touch Bella. I would rip them limb from limb before they did.

_Wait! Don't die yet, stupid! I told you I'd come when the time was right! Now… no Edward! Stop! _Alice mentally screamed at me. My head whirled to the sound. Felix and Demetri noticed the sound of Alice's faint footsteps.

"Let's behave ourselves, shall we? There are ladies present," Alice's voice was suddenly by my side. The two guards straightened out of their offensive stances. They didn't like even numbers.

_Yes, yes you can thank me for my timing later. _She thought gloatingly.

"We're not alone," she reminded them softly. Demetri looked over at the little family a few meters away, staring at our inconspicuous confrontation.

Demetri slowly shook his head, disappointed that he couldn't kill us.

"Please, Edward let's be reasonable," he sighed. I wanted to laugh. His definition of reasonable included Bella lying in the square dead, with me and Alice part of the Volturi family, our chains being Chelsea's gift.

"Let's," I said stubbornly. "And we'll leave quietly now, and no one will be the wiser."

"At least let us discuss this more privately," he sighed, referring to the now large group of people staring at us.

"No," I snarled.

"Enough." The high, annoying voice filled me with dread. Jane. Bella would be in agony if I did not give in. I had to, for her own good. Everything was for her. I couldn't risk experimenting with Bella's strange mind shield. If it didn't work… I would never forgive myself. I relaxed from my defensive position with a sigh.

"Follow me," Jane stated simply, annoyed with how easy it was. She wanted bloodshed. Well, there could be no bloodshed, not counting Bella, but she was in the mood to kill. Painfully.

Jane ruins yet another happy reunion. Thanks for getting me 30 reviews everyone! I really appreciate it! Is it too much to ask for 40 this time? It'll make me happy but I won't hold out on you if I don't. : )


	16. Aro

Disclaimer: No, even though I have a striking resemblance (*awkward laughter*ummmm… no.) to SM I'm not her (sadly). I don't own the Twilight series or anything else.

a/n: Sorry that took so long. Went to Phillie for Passover/Easter.

Aro

The thoughts of both Felix and Demetri were smug, though they had done nothing to win this "battle". Felix gestured for us to follow Jane so Alice obediently trotted after her. I wrapped my arm around Bella's slender waist, loving the feeling. She looked up at me frantically, hoping to get some answers but I shook my head. There would be time for that later. I sighed happily. Time was my new favorite word.

"Well, Alice. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised to see you here," I told her. I was glad she had prevented me from committing suicide. Now I could be with Bella. Victoria was still at large and I was ecstatic that I had a reason to stay.

"It was my mistake," Alice said almost cheerfully. She was being careful of the very interested guards behind us. "It was my job to set it right."

"What happened?" I asked, careful disinterest in my tone, though I was dying to know why Bella attempted to commit suicide. I had thought she was getting over me. Maybe she would marry that _dog_ Jacob. She loved him, more than just a friend, even if she didn't know it.

"It's a long story. In summary, she did jump off a cliff, but she wasn't trying to kill herself. Bella's all about the extreme sports these days," Alice said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. Bella blushed beautifully and turned her head away quickly, causing her chestnut hair to ripple.

Alice's thoughts captured my attention again.

_I told you. Jasper told you. EVERYONE told you and you still thought she would get over you? You have such a thick skull! And she's been doing a lot of dangerous things. Motorcycles, cliff diving. Honestly, how did you not see this coming?_

"Hm." I hadn't known about the motorcycles. She had broken her promise. Of course, I had gone back on every promise I had made her so I think my guilt outweighed hers at the moment.

We walked a little while longer until we got to the drain. Bella jumped back a bit from the pitch black hole, for her at least.

"It's all right, Bella," I whispered soothingly. "Alice will catch you." She took small steps forward until she got on her knees and sat on the edge.

"Alice?" she mumbled, unsure.

"I'm right here, Bella," she called up. I took Bella's wrists and lowered her into the hole.

"Ready?" I asked Alice.

"Drop her," Alice ordered. If she didn't catch Bella… I let go. And a second later she was in Alice's stone arms. I jumped immediately after her and pulled her into my side and dragged her along. She wrapped her trembling arms around my waist and clumsily made her way forward. I could have put her on my back to make the whole thing go faster, but I wanted to spend every second I could just holding her. I kissed her forehead every so often, just to reassure her that I was still here and always would be.

I began to notice that she was shaking, not from fear but from the icy temperature beneath the ground. I quickly pulled my arms away, though it was almost physically painful to do so. My body savored every second next to her flaming skin. Where was the damn cloak I had? I realized it was still at the mouth of the alley where I had almost killed myself.

"N-n-no," she shuddered, hugging me close. Well, I wasn't going to argue with her. I rubbed her arm, trying to create some measure of warmth for her.

We walked into the modern reception area where I had made my appointment earlier. We met up with Alec and walked into another cold, medieval room where the Volturi were waiting.

"Jane, dear one, you've returned!" Aro nearly squealed.

"Yes, Master. I brought him back alive, just as you wished." She was so loyal to him, it could be considered disgusting.

"Ah, Jane. You are such a comfort to me," Aro sighed happily.

"And Alice and Bella, too!" he said, delighted with Jane's findings. "This _is _a happy surprise! Wonderful!"

Bella looked shocked at his outward friendliness. I knew it wouldn't last.

"Felix, be a dear and tell my brothers about our company. I'm sure they wouldn't want to miss this." He sounded like an old, doddering grandmother. Felix disappeared to find the other two masters.

"You see, Edward?" he said smugly. "What did I tell you? Aren't you glad that I didn't give you what you wanted this morning?" (**Sorry. Messed up. Had to change "yesterday" to "this morning".) **

"Yes, Aro, I am," I told him sincerely and squeezed Bella's waist for emphasis.

"I love a happy ending. They are so rare. But I want the whole story." Now he sounded like Jessica Stanley confronted with good gossip. "How did this happen?" he asked, turning his attention to Alice. "Your brother seemed to think you were infallible, but apparently there was some mistake."

"Oh, I'm far from infallible," Alice said brightly but with underlying tension in her voice. "As you can see today, I cause problems as often as I cure them."

"You're too modest. I've seen some of your more amazing exploits, and I must admit I've never observed anything like your talent. Wonderful!" he exclaimed, almost as if talking about some rare artifact. And that's all we were to him. Random anomalies.

**(umm… messed up again… changing this part.) **

Alice looked at me.

_Umm… he's friendly isn't he? _

"I'm sorry," Aro apologized immediately. "We haven't been introduced properly at all, have we? It's just that I'm so used to knowing everything about everyone immediately. If I touch someone, I can read their thoughts."

"And he's also exponentially more powerful than I," I quickly explained to Alice. I didn't want her to underestimate his power. "Aro needs physical contact to hear your thoughts but he hears much more than I do. You know I can only hear what's passing through your head in the moment. Aro hears every thought your mind has ever had."

Alice raised her eyebrows warning me to her question.

_Everything? Eww… he's like some creepy stalker. _I nodded minutely. I smirked at what Aro would probably eventually hear from her.

"But to be able to hear from a distance… that would be so _convenient," _Aro exhaled jealously.

Felix walked in with the other members of the trio.

"Marcus, Caius, look!" Aro nearly shouted excitedly. "Bella is alive after all, and Alice is here with her. Isn't that wonderful?"

"Let us have the story." Aro smiled excitedly.

Marcus reached over and I listened hard to the thoughts Aro was reading.

_The pixie and the human appear to friends. Edward and the small one have the relationship similar to a brother and sister. The human scum is in love with the boy. _My heart sang with ecstasy. _The boy is trying very hard not to eat the human. I believe she is his singer. And he's definitely in love with her, though I don't see the point. He's bound to eat her someday. I don't see why he doesn't give up. She isn't worth the trouble. _I snorted. Bella? Not worth the trouble? Bella was more than anyone, anything.

After some more annoying small talk and after Aro satisfied his ridiculous need to try and read Bella's thoughts, he said,

"Jane,dear?" No. I couldn't let this happen.

"No!" I roared at him. Alice grabbed my arm, trying to remind me that it wouldn't hurt her. How did she know that? She couldn't and I wasn't going to watch Bella screaming in agony.

"Yes, Master?" Jane asked cheerfully.

"I was wondering, my dear one, if Bella is immune to _you_." I was roaring at him. How dare he try to injure my Bella? And I had the _pleasure_ of knowing what that ass was thinking.

_Hmm… I've never seen her power used on a human. I hope it will be more painful. Maybe it will kill her. Yes, Edward, I know you're listening. Do try not to do anything stupid. _

Jane turned toward us, grinning like a shark.

"No!" Alice shrieked as I shot towards the devilish girl. At least torturing me would distract the monster. I cringed on the ground as the pain ripped through me. Jane's gift was meant to remind us vampires of the fire of transformation. And it was a terrific reminder. Bella seemed to realize what was going on.

"Stop!" she cried, attempting to fling herself at Jane. Alice grabbed her waist and easily restrained the struggling Bella.

"Jane," Aro called calmly, as if the last thirty seconds had never happened. I exhaled quietly in relief.

"He's fine," Alice reassured Bella. I almost yelled again when I realized what Jane was doing. She was attempting to hurt Bella. I stared at her and she stared back, confused. Then the light went off in her head and she swiveled towards Jane's now murderous gaze. I was by Bella's side in less than half a second and Alice gave me her willingly.

Aro laughed. "This is wonderful!"

Jane prepared to jump on Bella and begin the pain manually. I stepped in front of her.

"Don't be put out, dear one." Aro lay a hand on her shoulder. "She confounds us all." He turned towards us. "You're very brave, Edward, to endure in silence. I asked Jane to do that to me once— just out of curiosity." He shook his head, remembering himself crying out for mercy. My lip curled up, utterly disgusted at his pitiful memory.

"So what do we do with you now?" Aro sighed, finally getting over his curiosity. I froze, waiting for his verdict.

Okay, I'm getting really sick of this Volterra thing. If you want me to just skip Bella's bedroom scene review and tell me if you're just as tired of it as I am. If enough people tell me to skip, I might eventually add the rest of this scene so no worries.


	17. Visions

Disclaimer: If I were SM wouldn't I be writing something that could be published?

a/n: I thought of a good idea for the Volterra scene to spice it up a little. So I'm not going to skip it. Enjoy everyone!

Visions

**(I'm skipping some more annoying stuff…)**

"Unless…" Aro drifted off. Oh God no. I did not like the direction of his thoughts. "Unless you do intend to give her immorality." Aro's statement transformed into a question.

I paused. I didn't know what to say at first. If I said yes, we could leave but Aro would eventually find out that I had lied in order to escape. Then he would send his guard… I shuddered at the thought. If I said no, they would kill her.

"And if I do?"

Aro grinned. "Why, then you would be free to go home and give my regards to my friend Carlisle," he said, happy at this uncomplicated prospect. Then he came back down to earth. "But I'm afraid you would have to mean it," he said, stating my obvious plan.

I narrowed my eyes. The guard was excited. They knew this was my one weakness. If I meant it, they would make me change her now. I stared into Bella's eyes, trying to decipher the emotions within them. There was fear, that was obvious, and then something I couldn't figure out until she said, "Mean it. Please." I was horrified. She _wanted_ to become a vampire? How could she possibly want a half life? Her face crumbled and I realized what she must have seen in my eyes. She would have seen the reluctance and she would interpret that to mean that I didn't want her. I opened my mouth to explain when she looked at the ground, her face red with the shame of hoping. The words got caught in my throat.

Alice was watching us carefully. Then she raised her hand to Aro's. I knew what she was doing. She was showing Aro the vision she had so long ago. The vision with Bella's face pale, her eyes red. Alice saw she was going to become a vampire. But as Aro flipped through the visions looking for one of importance, I saw something amazing. Something that Alice had kept from me for a long while. It was a hazy, foggy vision but one that got clearer and clearer. A tall man with golden eyes and bronze hair was standing at the end of a short aisle, his eyes shining with happiness. He was looking at someone coming down the stairs of our house. She was blushing and smiling as she looked into the man's eyes. I was dumbstruck. The man was me. The beautiful woman was Bella. I was going to marry Bella someday. Euphoria exploded and I wanted to sing and Jasper would have been singing with me. But I remembered the horrible position we were in at the moment and my expression soured.

Aro laughed, finally finished with his intrusion of Alice's mind. "That was _fascinating!_" he exclaimed loudly.

Alice smiled insincerely. "I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"To see the things you've seen—especially the ones that haven't happened yet!" Aro continued in awe.

"But that will," Alice emphasized. Aro had discarded all memories of Alice's limitations. He was too caught up in her latest revelation.

"Yes, yes, it's quite determined. Certainly there's no problem," Aro stated impatiently, waving off Alice's reminders.

"Aro," Caius whined, sounding like a three year old. In fact, three year olds were more mature than him. The three brothers were too used to getting what they wanted, when they wanted it.

"Dear Caius. Do not fret. Think of the possibilities! They do not join us today, but we can always hope for the future. Imagine the joy young Alice alone would bring to our little household." I snorted. They called this colossal underground mansion a household? "Besides, I'm so terribly curious to see how Bella turns out!" His excitement was like Alice's, but not catching.

"Then are we free to go now?" I asked, not letting any fear seep into my voice.

"Yes, yes. But please visit again. It's been absolutely enthralling!" I hated how truthful he was being.

"And we will visit you as well," Caius grunted menacingly. "To be sure you follow through on your side," he said a little louder. "Were I you, I would not delay too long. We do not offer second chances." I hissed.

We walked by and as Bella's scent washed over the vampires in the corner, Felix moaned longingly.

"Ah, Felix," Aro said almost condescendingly. "Heidi will be here any moment. Patience."

Oh, crap. "Hmm. In that case, perhaps we'd better leave sooner rather than later," I said quickly.

"Yes," Aro said, picking up on my distress. "That's a good idea. Accidents do happen. Please wait below until after dark, though, if you don't mind."

"Of course," I agreed, tugging gently on Bella's arm.

"And here," Aro gave me a cloak from Felix's shoulders. "Take this. You're a little conspicuous." I put it on impatiently.

Aro sighed longingly. "It suits you."

I laughed but then I heard the footsteps of perhaps twenty people. Bella didn't need to see that.

"Thank you, Aro. We'll wait below."

"Goodbye, young friends."

"Let's go," I stated as we entered the corridor. Alice's face went blank for a moment then her face transformed into a hard mask. I sighed quietly. Bella was too good to see what was about to happen.

"Not fast enough." Alice grimaced. After our little "run-in" with Heidi, Bella was in hysterics.

"All those people," she blubbered.

"I know," I consoled her.

"It's so horrible!" she sobbed again, burying her face into my chest.

"Yes, it is. I wish you hadn't had to see that." She didn't know how sorry I was.

"Is there anything can get you?" Gianna asked from over my shoulder.

I supposed she was attractive, by human standards. But no one could compare to Bella. Plus, Gianna's obnoxious thoughts were enough to completely distract me from her pretty face.

_When is this chick going to get out of my office? It was spotless and now she's probably staining the leather with her tears and all that gross crap dripping out of her nose. _

"No," I replied rudely.

"Does she know what's going on here?" Bella whispered furiously.

"Yes, she knows everything."

"Does she know they're going to kill her someday?"

"She knows it's a possibility. She's hoping they'll decide to keep her." I watched the blood drain from her face.

"She wants to be one of them?" she said in shock.

I nodded, listening carefully for her response.

"How can she want that?" she muttered, horrified. "How can she watch those people file through to that hideous room and want to be a part of _that?_"

I felt my face twist. She was insulting Gianna's choice? She was the one that wanted to become some soulless demon! My family was no different than the Volturi. We still had no soul and no God to believe in. We weren't that different. Or were we?


	18. The Plane

Disclaimer: My first name is not Stephenie and my last name is not Meyer. I'm pretty sure we can assume I'm not Stephenie Meyer.

The Plane

She stared at me for a few moments, seeming to take my face in. Then her eyes filled with tears and they spilled over. "Oh, Edward," she sobbed into my chest. What was she crying about now? I couldn't understand it. Everything would just be so much simpler if I knew what she wanted!

"What's wrong?" I asked, trying to soothe her ragged breathing. She wrapped her soft arms around my neck and practically strangled me. She was strong when she wanted to be.

"Is it really sick for me to be happy right now?" she asked, her voice slightly muffled because her head was down. I wanted to laugh. I could barely think around the happiness floating around my mind. I wasn't even thinking of the murderous vampires sitting only a hundred yards from us. Of course, I was worried but that was in the back corner of my mind. I was still rejoicing about the very much alive human girl sitting right next to me.

"I know exactly what you mean," I murmured into her ear. "But we have lots of reasons to be happy. For one, we're alive."

"Yes," she said slowly. "That's a good one."

"And together." I caused a number of goose bumps to appear on her fair skin. She just nodded, looking dejected. I was preparing for a very long persuasive talk with her when she got home and got some sleep. "And, with any luck, we'll still be alive tomorrow."

"The outlook is quite good," Alice told us. I was so caught in my and Bella's little reunion, I had jumped when I heard her speak.

_Unfortunately for me. _Gianna thought bitterly. Then she remembered that I could read her mind and she quickly looked up at me. I smirked. She turned bright red then turned around to get her coffee.

For the next few minutes we just stared, unblinking, at each other. I rememorized every inch of her face. I had thought of her as little as possible on my "vacation" but when I did her face had been crystal clear. But nothing compared to seeing her chocolate colored eyes for myself. So beautiful.

Eventually, we left and Alice stole another car. We got on the plane and guess who I saw? Yes, Rebecca. As soon as she saw my face she prepared to hop into the bathroom but Bella asked her for a highly caffeinated Coke.

"Bella," I warned her. She got crazy when she had caffeine when she was at least half awake. But she was practically asleep on my lap.

"I don't want to sleep. If I close my eyes now, I'll see things I don't want to see. I'll have nightmares." I knew how true that was especially since the monster who had tortured her so was right back by her side. I didn't talk about her going to sleep again. As she struggled with her heavy lids, despite all the soda she had drank, I tried to determine what she was think.

She obviously thought I didn't love her anymore. She didn't realize how permanent my feelings for her were. She also thought I didn't want her. How could anyone not? Her full lips, the long eyelashes that framed her eyes, the chestnut hair that waved whenever she turned her head; how could anyone _not_ love her? Of course, if anyone thought of it I would rip their head from their neck, their arms from their shoulders. Only Jacob was the exception. She loved him back. I would never destroy some_thing_ that she loved.

And I didn't know if she hated me or not. She would never show it but I had left her bleeding. Broken. I wished I could somehow make it right.

When we got to the airport I heard my family before I saw them.

_Oh, Bella thank you, thank you, thank you!_ Esme was almost sobbing in her head.

Carlisle was relieved that I was out of my slump.

Jasper's thoughts were so happy that Alice was okay it would have made me vomit if it was before Bella.

I couldn't hear Emmett or Rosalie. They were probably still in the car. Stupid, stupid Rosalie. I was going to kill her. Not literally. I think.


	19. All For Her

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All the credit goes to the very talented Stephenie Meyer. *sigh*

All For Her

I exhaled and began to drag the almost unconscious Bella toward the car. Stupid, flamboyant BMW. It shared the same characteristics as Rosalie. Shocker. As we got closer to the ostentatious vehicle, I began to hear the repentant tone to her thoughts.

_Edward, please forgive me. I… just wanted our family back together. You were always moping and being stupid— no! This is a freaking apology, Rosalie! _She chastised herself. _Sorry, Edward. I was being stupid. I… should have made sure before I called. I should have known that you would fly yourself out to Italy. And… as much as I hate her, Edward, she's been good to… and for you. _

By this time, Rosalie was attempting to apologize out loud.

"Edward," Rosalie said slowly, hoping she wouldn't have to say this out loud in front of Bella.

"I know," I countered harshly. She nodded and took a deep breath.

_Here it goes, Edward. Sorry if it doesn't come out right…_

"Bella?" Bella's heavy lids flickered open. Her sleepy eyes still looked surprised. I realized Rosalie had never actually talked to Bella in a straightforward manner.

"I'm so very sorry, Bella. I feel wretched about every part of this, and so grateful that you were brave enough to save my brother after what I did. Please say you'll forgive me." At least she was trying. I think this was the first time she had actually apologized to anyone besides Emmett. Wait… no she never apologizes to him either.

"Of course, Rosalie," Bella slurred, sounding like a drunk. "It's not your fault at all. I'm the one who jumped off the damn cliff. Of course I forgive you."

_She's probably just saying that, the little freak. I wished she had stayed under the water where she belongs. Damn wolf!_

I growled under my breath. She would pay for that later. Rosalie's thoughts were immediately embarrassed.

"It doesn't count until she's conscious, Rose," Emmett laughed, ever oblivious to an awkward situation.

"I'm conscious," Bella muttered, sounding like when she was asleep.

" Let her sleep," I said calming down a bit. I shouldn't be angry, not now.

Her head was in my lap, my hands cradling her precious face. Emmett was hoping to hear some of Bella's famous sleep-talking but she wasn't deeply asleep enough. He was extremely disappointed when we got to Charlie's house.

"Bella!" Charlie roared from the doorway.

"Cha… wha? Charles… Charlie? Charlie," Bella muttered, half-asleep.

"Shh," I crooned in her ear. "It's okay; you're home and safe. Just sleep."

"I can't _believe_ you have the nerve to show your face here!" Charlie hollered and even though he was a head shorter than me, the profanities he shouted from inside his head made me fall back a step. I had never heard such anger from a human.

"Stop it, Dad," Bella moaned from my arms. He didn't seem to notice.

"What's wrong with her?" Bella's father ordered.

"She's just very tired, Charlie. Please let her rest," I begged.

"Don't tell me what to do!" he screeched in an accusatory tone. "Give her to me. Get your hand off her!"

I tried futilely to break Bella's hold on my shirt but to no avail. Inside, I was smug. I had to stay until she let go on her own, didn't I? Charlie began tugging roughly at her forearm.

"Cut it out, Dad," Bella stated, annoyed that her nook in my arms had been disrupted. She snuggled back into my chest. "Be mad at _me,_" she sighed sleepily.

"You bet I will be," Charlie promised gruffly. "Get inside."

"Kay. Lemme down," she said. I gently set her on the stone walkway. She began to step forward when she tripped over thin air and _almost _fell onto the hard ground. I caught her before any damage was done.

"Just let me get her upstairs. Then I'll leave," I said, hiding a smirk. I would never leave again.

"No!" she shrieked with fifty times the energy she had presented in the last twenty four hours.

"I won't be far," I whispered quickly. She relaxed again in my arms.

I lay her down on the bed. She was already asleep.

I smiled and left. Charlie glared at me on the way out.

"Wait!" I froze, my foot almost out the door. I cursed internally. I did _not _want to have this conversation right now.

"Sit down, Edward," Charlie said smoothly, trying to remain calm.

"Yes, sir," I stated sitting on the couch. He stared me down, trying to intimidate me. Ha! I stared right back and he squirmed under my unwavering gaze.

"Edward. I know…" he sighed, hating what he was about to say. "I know that you love her, anyone can see that." He snorted. "But… why did you leave?"

"I'm afraid I can't tell you that, Charlie. But I can tell you that I thought it would help her rather than hurt."

"Why can't you tell me?" Charlie pouted.

"It's… complicated."

"Did Bella say something?"

"No!" I nearly shouted in surprise. "No. Just… my fault," I ended guiltily.

"What did you do?" Charlie shouted. "Damn it, Edward, tell me!"

I looked down in shame. I never thought such a human could bring such disgrace to me. "I left for her. I do everything for her. Everything's…for her. Always." My voice was shaky.

"That's sweet, but it doesn't answer the question," Charlie wasn't really one for romanticism.

I sighed, frustrated. "I can't tell you."

He glared at me. "Fine. Now get out of my house," he said menacingly.

I grinned as soon as I was out the door. I heard Charlie mumble to himself as he went to bed.

"Damn Edward. Damn him, damn him, damn him."

I laughed and climbed in through the black window. I had been yearning to so for so long.

**I felt like Charlie should get his moment of Glory.  
**

**Please review. Pretty, pretty please with sugar and, if you're a chocoholic like me, 15 billion Hershey bars on top!**


	20. Together Again

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. All SMeyer's.

**READ THIS! IT'S IMPORTANT!! a/n**: As one of my awesome reviewers pointed out, Charlie never said that Edward could never walk through his door again. I'm backing up a little to include this.

Together Again

He glared at me. "Fine. Now get out of my house," he said menacingly. I walked out of the small living room.

"Oh, and Edward?" he called to me. I didn't answer, knowing what he was going to say.

"Never walk through my door again."

"Will do, Charlie, will do," I told him.

I grinned as soon as I was out the door. I heard Charlie mumble to himself as he went to bed.

"Damn Edward. Damn him, damn him, damn him."

I laughed and climbed in through the black window. I had been yearning to so for so long.

**Okay, **_**now**_** the chapter starts.**

When I spotted Bella, it was such a relief. If I had to breathe, it would have been like coming out of water for some much need air. I quietly picked up the old rocking chair sitting in the corner of her tiny room. I put it right next to her face so I could memorize it completely for the next fourteen hours of so. She was mumbling in her sleep, but not tossing and turning too much. It must have been because she was so tired.

She would whimper quietly and I would always think she was dreaming of some nightmarish creature. Probably me. And I would sigh and keep listening. But then other times she would say,

"Edward… love you… don't leave… please don't…leave me." Then she would smile in her sleep.

Then she sighed, "Edward… come…closer." Well, I wouldn't deny her anything, even in her sleep. I leaned closer.

"Edward," she whined. Closer.

"Edward… now," a little annoyance in her voice. Closer.

"Good," she sighed and somehow, in her deep sleep, wrapped her arms around my neck like I was a cold, stone teddy bear. This was very pleasurable but a very awkward position. I kept my head in the exact same position and quickly shift so I was lying next to her on the bed. She whimpered a little in her sleep and cushioned her head on her my stone stomach. I wrapped my arms around her and she smiled, cuddling into my arms. I sighed. This was where I was supposed to be.

After a little while, she began to wake up. I touched her forehead lightly seeing if she actually was. Her eyes squeezed shut. Then she sighed, resigned, and opened her eyes.

"Oh!" she screamed softly. She covered her eyes and began to mumble to herself.

"Not real, Bella. Don't go crazy. He's not real. It was all a dream. Yes, all a dream." Her eyes flew open again.

"Did I frighten you?" I asked. She stared at me incredulously, blinking like a mole. I resisted the urge to laugh.

Her eyes narrowed and then she sighed sleepily.

"Oh, crap." Why was she saying that? We were together now, that's all that mattered.

"What's wrong, Bella?"

She frowned. Her eyes filling with tears.

"I'm dead, right? I _did_ drown," she began muttering to herself. "Crap, crap, crap! This is gonna kill Charlie."

Did she often have delusions of me? I actually found the thought rather interesting. You'd think I would have noticed that….

"You're not dead." _My beautiful, possibly insane angel._ I wanted to add.

"Then why am I not waking up?" she said in an accusatory tone.

"You _are _awake, Bella," I assured her. Her name rolled naturally off my lips. I loved being able to say her name with her in my presence. I had to force her name out when she wasn't here.

"Sure, sure," she said, shaking her head adorably. "That's what you want me to think. And then it will be worse when I do wake up. _If_ I wake up, which I won't, because I'm dead. This is awful," she began her voice taking on a more melancholy tone. "Poor Charlie. And Renee and Jake…"

Ha! She felt bad for the dog. I was hoping that he would feel pain when his love was gone. But he would break her heart when he imprinted on someone else. I could justify my being there. I would never leave. _But you already did once_. I thought to myself, wincing.

"I can see where you might confuse me with a nightmare." I grimaced. "But I can't imagine what you could have done to wind up in hell. Did you commit many murders while I was away?" I asked her this jokingly; of course, I already knew the answer.

It was her turn to grimace now. "Obviously not. If I was in hell, you wouldn't be with me."

Well, I didn't know. I sighed at the thought of the unknown.

She shook her head a few times, as if to clear it. Then she looked at me and realization seemed to dawn on her face and she blushed. It had been so, so _long_ since I had seen that beautiful blush. In the months I had been gone, I hadn't seen that bright red blush. It was such a comfort to know she was somewhat returning to normal.

"Did all that really happen, then?" She asked in a small voice, still refusing to believe it.

"That depends. If you're referring to us nearly being massacred in Italy, then, yes," I told her, my voice unintentionally hard.

"How strange. I really went to Italy. Did you know I'd never been farther east than Albuquerque?"

I rolled my eyes. Leave it to Bella to ignore the fact that she was nearly killed. Same old Bella. Thank goodness.

**Hey sorry the chapters are so short and/or far apart. I have a lot of ideas for stories so I'm doing three at the same time right now. **_**Maybe**_** if I got a lot of reviews I would make the chapters longer and closer together. Right now, I have 64 reviews and it's driving me crazy! I'm aiming for 75; who wants to help?? **


	21. Sorry!

**Hello to all my wonderful readers! **

**This is disappointing but no there is no new chapter right now! **

**I'm SUPER SUPER sorry but I've had so much work to do for school such as:**

**An English debate over Euthanasia**

**A Mock congressional hearing for world studies**

**An eighth grade reflection project for English **

**And a fishbowl interview for English again**

**So again SUPER sorry and I'll try to get the next chapter out over the weekend.**

**Xoxo becky**


	22. TAPT

Disclaimer: Nothing's mine. *sob*

**a/n: Sorry, I'm not one for long chapters so that's why it's Together again part two. **

Together Again: Part Two

I rolled my eyes at her absurdity. "Maybe you should go back to sleep. You're not coherent."

"I'm not tired anymore," she protested. "What time is it? How long have I been asleep?" She seemed a little more awake now.

"It's just after one in the morning. So, about fourteen hours," I answered. She stretched and I heard all of the tiny pops and cracks of her joints.

"Charlie?" she inquired.

I frowned, remembering his order. "Sleeping. You should probably know that I'm breaking the rules right now. Well, not technically, since he said I was never to walk through his door again, and I came in the window…. But, still, the intent was clear," I told her casually.

"Charlie banned you from the house?" she asked furiously.

"Did you expect anything else?" answering her with another question.

"What's the story?" she said, finally moving away from the topic of Charlie.

"What do you mean?" I questioned, knowing exactly what she meant. I just wanted to prolong the inevitable conversation, even if only for a few minutes.

**I CAN'T FIND MY NEW MOON BOOK SO I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE DIALOUGE IS!! I WILL TRY TO FIND IT AND I'M SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER SORRY!**

**I just found New Moon but I'm not going to finish (sorry everyone!) I'm just too overwhelmed with everything, exams and FOUR STORIES!!! blah blah blah... **

**I'm going to do what Edward was thinking in the last few lines from what I remember.**

"When we were in Volterra, you said "So maybe this _is _heaven." You still believe," she stated proudly. Yes. I realized this slowly. I did believe.

And I always would, at least while she was around. "Forever," I whispered.

_As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit. ~~ Emmanual Teney _

**Good luck with life everyone!**

**xoxo becky  
**


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